Patricia Marie Allen

Secure Haven Academy

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Secure Haven Academy
By Patricia Marie Allen

Adapted with permission from “Orientation Day” by Dorothy Colleen

On the 13th of January, Dorothy Colleen posted “Orientation Day. ” It’s a short little tale (less than 500 words) regarding a speech by the headmistress of a special school, in which she corrects some misinformation about the school. I was impressed with the idea of such a school and could see a much larger story about that school. I contacted Dorothy and told her there was a story yet to be told and ask if she wasn’t going to write would she mind if I did. She graciously granted me permission.

What follows is that story. In it we get inside the head of one of the incoming students listening to that speech.

Blair, while he admits that he’s not and “average” boy, appears on the outside to be just that. He’s been a good student through elementary school. But in middle school his interactions with the other boys in school serve to highlight just how far he is from “average.” His inability to relate to their attitude and refusal to join in with the banter regard the girls in the school isolate him and open him up to verbal abuse. Being a gentle boy he finds that the old saying, “Sticks and Stone can break you bones, but words can never hurt you,” simply isn’t true. Words do hurt and the hurt Blair deeply; to the point that he dreads going to school. As a result, his grades suffer badly.

In an effort to solve this problem his parents seek alternatives to public education. Join Blair as he navigates the troubled waters of Secure Haven; A School for Gentle Boys.

Great Aunt Frances

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Great Aunt Frances

By Patricia Marie Allen

Edited by Gabi Z

   Aunt Frances is Dad’s aunt and according to him, she runs a tight ship at her house. She has some rules that need to be obeyed and won’t hesitate to enforce them. What’s more no matter how long it’s been, whatever conditions she decides to enforce them with will be in effect going forward forever.

   What kind of rules??? And just how does she enforce them? And how long is forever? Surely not forever, forever.

Grandma's Gift

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Grandma’s Gift
By Patricia Marie Allen

Edited by Gabi Z

  Grandma sent Pam lacy, nylon panties for her birthday and then again for Christmas.

  “Mom, Grandma sent me nylon panties again,” Pam complained when she opened Grandma’s Christmas present.

  “That’s nice dear. Be sure to send her a nice thank you,” Mom told her.

  “A thank you? But I don’t want nylon panties. I wear cotton, doesn’t she know that?”

  “Grandma grew up when all girls wore nylon panties and appreciated some fancy panties as gifts. Now, put them away and write a thank you note.”

  “I might as well give them to Jimmy. He’s more likely to wear them than I am. I’ll never wear them and I sure won’t wear the other ones that he’s already worn.”

  “I don’t care what you do with them. Give them to Jimmy, throw them away or put them in your drawer; just write a thank you to Grandma.”

  “How can I write a thank you for a present I don’t want without lying?”

  “You just say, ‘Your present arrived today, they’re very pretty. Thank you,’ and sign it.”

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  “Oh no, I really do like them. I mean, they’re very pretty and all. I don’t know why Pam doesn’t like them.”

I Won't Take No For An Answer

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Edited by Gabi Z

  Larry has a secret. He’s been keeping a secret since he was 9. He’s been very successful at keeping it. In all those years not one person has ever been aware of this one thing about him that no one can ever know. Not his parents, not his friends growing up, not his fellow students when he was in college, not his buddies when he was in the Navy, not his coworkers at his job and especially not his wife.

  He particularly careful to keep his wife from knowing. No doubt she’s kick his rear to the curb, if she found out. Oh he’d read all the horror stories of wives who’d found out this kind of thing about their husbands. It never ended well. What’s more as often as not once the wives found out and made a stink, the poor saps employer would find out and they would lose their job as well. No, not pretty at all.

  He must keep his wife in the dark at all costs. He always puts back in the precise spot anything of hers he borrows. She’ll never, can never know.

If It Was Your Husband 19 and 20 of 20 Plus Epilogue

19 and 20
Outerwear and Happy New Year Mike
Plus Epilogue Looking Back

In Chapter 19, Mike finally gets the OK to buy dresses and some androgynous outerwear. His second day underdressing and a day of firsts. Mike makes good on his promise of no more secrets which results in Lisa taking more steps to be an understanding wife. She struggles but manages to keep on keeping on toward that goal.
In Chapter 20 which spans a year or so, Mike and Alex get some girl time and with Carrie’s help the begin to explore the outside world. Alex is surprised by the lack a attention he and Mike get while out and about. Soon they are venturing out without Carrie as a guide and become comfortable just being out and about as women. They settle into a pretty routine schedule and keep the girl time in balance with the rest of their social life. A surprise move by Lisa opens the door for Mike to have more freedom. Followed by a Christmas to remember and an invitation for New Year’s Eve.
In the Epilogue, we find out what happens at the New Year’s Eve celebration. At their St. Paddy’s Day party, Alex and Mike have a heart to heart talk and Alex explains to Mike just how he managed to take to cross-dressing without much resistance. A conversation they thought was just between them.

If It Was Your Husband 17 & 18 of 20

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If It Was Your Husband 17 and 18 of 20

By Patricia Marie Allen

17 and 18
Outfitting Mike and Helping Mike

In this penultimate posting, Mike is introduced to Ann at Ann’s Lingerie and More. He’s fitted for a bra, though not confident enough in Lisa’s change of heart to go ahead and order them. He does however, buy the lingerie so he can underdress. He comes back to Alex and Carrie’s with his purchases to find that Lisa has become overwhelmed and gone home. This is of some concern so he cools things for a while.

We see in the later chapter that Alex had become completely sanguine with anything and everything being revealed to Mike and Lisa. In response to Lisa wanting to see him when he’s fully underdressed he says, “Look away. It’s not like I’ve got to hide anything from you.”

And that’s true. It was a foregone conclusion from the beginning that his cross-dressing would be fully disclosed to Mike and Lisa. Look for some drastic changes in Lisa.

If It Was Your Husband 15 and 16 of 20

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15 and 16

Unveiling our plot and A surprise visit

Dinner at Mike and Lisa’s after the game is pleasant enough with no unusual happenings. It was the relaxing after with coffee in the family room that provides the excitement. Alex has become totally comfortable wearing skirts and all the mannerisms that goes along with it. Little does he know that while Lisa has kept her own counsel she has been watching Alex handle his kilt and deal with the situations that ensued. When Alex sits in a markedly feminine manner, she remarks how adept he is and how he appears very comfortable with it.

It’s time… Carrie is ready to run with it. She figures that better to hit it head on rather than put Lisa off. Alex and Carrie gently explain how Alex came to be comfortable. The exchange, though it has the potential to go badly, ends on a hopeful note.

Three weeks later, Mike surprises Alex when he’s home alone practicing walking in high heels. It seems that the scheme has worked and Lisa no longer has Mike on a short leash. Mike becomes the first person to see Alex fully en femme. Mike relates to Alex just how things have progressed since the Highland Games. Then more people see Alex en femme. All’s well that ends well.

If It Was Your Husband 13 and 14 of 20

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13 and 14
Moving On and Highland Games

Time is marching on. Spring has slipped away and summer is fully come. Time to get ready for the 4th of July. Since Alex and Carrie hosted the Memorial Day barbeque Mike and Lisa are hosting for the Fourth. It makes sense since their backyard overlooks a great fireworks display at Oaks Park. Alex wears a new pair of Crocs sporting blue camo motif that kind of pushes his outfit toward the feminine side of butch. With careful thought, that is used to soften Lisa’s attitude hopefully to, in some way, make it easier to accept that Carrie really is OK with all that will be revealed at a later date.

Carrie reminds them that last year they had planned to attend the Highland Game with the two guys expressing their Scottish ancestry by wearing kilts. To no one’s surprise, Lisa flatly states that Mike won’t be wearing a kilt.

Alex and Carrie hold fast to the commitment made the year before and assemble suitable Scots themed outfits for the two of them. To spite Lisa’s ongoing hardline handling of Mike’s indiscretion the Games are attended and the day goes well. Alex notices that Lisa can appreciate the kilt wearing physique of the competitors in the caber toss.

If It Was Your Husband 11 & 12 of 20

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If It Was Your Husband 11 and 12 of 20

By Patricia Marie Allen

11 & 12

Outed times two and Admitting it out loud

Alex has his third visit to the salon. Janet continues with styling his hair. Then drops a bomb that Alex is totally not prepared for. At home he engages in typical cross-dresser activity while Carrie is not home. I worries him a little that he has slipped into cross-dressing activity.

Mike and Lisa come over for a Memorial Day barbecue and Alex lets Mike know that he’s got his back and that Mike’s cross-dressing isn’t going to matter to Alex. By the end of the day, Mike know about what Alex and Carrie are doing

If It Was Your Husband 9 & 10 of 20

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9 & 10

Gaining a better look & More exposure

Alex snaps back at Carrie when she suggests that he let his hair grow longer and that he should go to her hair dresser to manage it while it does.

“You really need to let your hair grow out some more, but in the meantime, I think we should get it styled. You know different parts of your hair grow at different rates and for it to look right as it grows out, someone who knows about such things should take care of it. Just a little trim about every two weeks, to keep things growing even.”

“What!? Are you suggesting we tell someone else about our experiment? …Or did you already talk to your hairdresser?”

“No, but I was thinking I could tell her that you wanted to recapture your youth and grow your hair out, but that I put my foot down on you looking scraggly like some kind of 70’s hippy. Then I could ask her if she’d oversee your journey into the past.”

“I just don’t want to deal with another of your cronies knowing that I’m letting you feminize me.”

“Oh Alex, I’m not feminizing you. I’m guiding you as you discover your feminine side. You know all men have a feminine side, just as all women have a masculine side.”

“Yeah, yeah, we went through that before. Call it what you will, but all I know is I’m discovering a lot more of my feminine side than I could have even imagined was there.”

Alex gets the special order bras and loves the experience of wearing them and even enhances the look.

He also goes to the salon to have his hair styled and finds Janet, the hair tech, to be a really professional and friendly woman that is going to be capable managing his quest for longer hair. He comes away feeling assured that this time Carrie hasn’t betrayed his trust.

If It Was Your Husband 7 & 8 of 20

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If It Was Your Husband
By Patricia Marie Allen

7 & 8

Exploring my feelings & On the fast track

Alex’s curiosity gets the best of him and he decides to explore women’s androgynous out in public without Carrie prompting him or having her along. He doesn’t quite have the guts to include a small bust line, so his bra cups lay fallow. On returning home, he tells Carrie where he’s been and how he’d dressed on purpose almost bragging about what he’s done.

Carrie notices that he’s not put anything in the bra cups and corrects the deficit. She then proves to him that he should have gone with the enhancement because not even people who casually know them notice anything. Carrie spring boards the incident and Alex finds himself in a lingerie shop. This leads to a whole new definition of “out and about.”

From there things get a little out of hand.

If It Was Your Husband 5 & 6 of 20

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5 & 6

Happy New Year and Putting it to the test

Christmas has come and gone. Alex spent four glorious days wearing the soft luxurious fabric and deliciously feeling lingerie. Getting ready for work he almost doesn’t think about it as he reaches in the lingerie drawer. As a result, he has to admit to himself that this thing is growing on him. He tries to fight it and finds that he regrets his decision to abstain.

If It Was Your Husband 3 & 4 of 20

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If It Was Your Husband
By Patricia Marie Allen

Blurring the Edges and Santa Claus is Coming to Town

Carrie is off and running. Alex wrestles with his feelings about underdressing and wearing lingerie, and his alter ego gets Christmas presents. Meanwhile, Alex gets a look at just how feminine he can look when Carrie blurs the edges of his masculine face with makeup. Oh, and pictures

If It Was Your Husband 1 & 2 of 20

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Authors Note: This story is complete and sitting on my hard drive. The novel is 49,188 words long in twenty chapters. I will be posting two chapters per week, roughly 5,000 words per post, on Fridays.


Alex comes home one day and his wife, Carrie, tells him of a problem in Mike and Lisa's marriage. Mike is his best friend since middle school. It seems that Lisa caught Mike cross-dressing and came unglued. She had come to Carrie looking for solace and support for divorcing Mike. But Carrie told her about a Phil Donahue show she'd seen as a teenager featuring married cross-dressers and said that cross-dressing really was no big deal.

Lisa was offended that Carrie wouldn't back her up and said, "If it was your husband, you wouldn’t think it was so cool," and left in a snit; part of her anger now directed at Carrie.

Carrie, on the fly, hatches a plan to help Lisa see that if it was her husband, she'd still think it was no big deal. Alex somewhat reluctantly goes along with it and discovers things about himself that he never knew existed.

A Yank in British Fancy Dress

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Photo credit Photo by Luke Stackpoole on Unsplash

Thanks to a few of our British sisters, I'm relatively certain that my British characters aren't speaking in American.

This is an account of an American's visit to London England an how he felt about attending a fancy dress party. Something he'd only experienced at Halloween and not since eighth grade. But then this wasn't like any Halloween party he'd ever been to.

Can you spell "Turn-About"?

If I Could

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If I Could
A take your daughter to work tale

By Patricia Marie Allen

When you consider the circumstances in my life, it’s easy to see how things turned out the way they did. My dad was killed in action in Afghanistan when I was eight. He was through with his active duty time and had joined the National Guard and his unit was called up when the Taliban launched a major offensive. There are no male relatives that I know of so I haven’t really had any male influence in my life since then.

Personal Theology on Transgender

Personal Theology on Transgender
By Patricia Marie Allen

Disclaimer: Warning to all who may read this: This article contains explicit religious content. The views are my own and are based on my understanding of scripture, i.e. the Bible. I will present Christian theology and quote Bible verses throughout. If you have any opposing view of creation (the beginning of it all – call it what you may) other than the traditional Christian view, this may be offensive. If this applies to you then I ask you to choose now to either discontinue reading or to accept this as an opposing view and simply agree to disagree with me. While I may read your comments, I will not respond in an effort to defend my views… it’s not a point of discussion for me. I offer this only as another option for understanding our condition.

Full Disclosure

Full Disclosure

Ron is a twenty something cross-dresser. As he grew up he witnessed the birth of the Al Gore’s “Information Super Highway”. And was an early participant in such groups as and From the information garnered there, he’s convinced that if he’s ever to have a successful marriage he needs to tell his intended before he proposes. He’s tried three times and each time has resulted in each of them walking, if not running away.

Is there any hope? Can an understanding wife be found?

A Rose By Any Other Name

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Graphic created by Patricia Marie Allen from photos on

Authors note: This story first appeared in the “One Dozen Roses” anthology and has been edited to be read as a standalone.
You can read it in the anthology here.

I’ve been asked just how I came to choose the name Rose. The story of my name goes back to my childhood. I was eight at the time. It was in just after the second gulf war. I blame the whole thing on Susan. Susan was the girl who lived in our basement apartment. Her father had been called up in the National Guard and was in Iraq for a year. They decided to give up living in their house and rent it out to cover the mortgage payment. The rent on the apartment we had in the basement fit the budget imposed by his Guard pay which didn’t even come close to his regular pay. The apartment had been grandma’s before she died. It’s just two bedrooms, a bathroom and a sitting room with an efficiency kitchen and the rent helps us with the mortgage, since dad left. As part of the deal, Susan’s mom watched me while my mom was at work.

Give Me An R...O...S...E

Graphic created by Patricia Marie Allen from pictures on

Give Me An R…O…S…E
By Patricia Marie Allen

Authors note: This story first appeared in the “One Dozen Roses” anthology and has been edited to be read as a standalone.
You can read it in the anthology here.

Jan Comes Out to Play

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An older story of mine. My attempt at romance. A young software engineer, meets up with an old friend from high school she’s a computer tech and at last the nerd finds a girl who he can talk to.



This story was originally written by Julie, sometime in the 90s and posted elsewhere. I read it and liked the premise, but the ending didn't suit me. So for my own enjoyment, I rewrote the ending. Julie's end had Chrissy transitioning, mine is more like my life. When I was finished modifying the ending, I liked it so much that I couldn’t resist posting it, so…

How Do You Walk in Those Things

How Do You Walk In Those Things

By Patricia Marie Allen

"What have we here?" my mother asked as I stood admiring my legs in the heels my sister had offered to let me try walking in.

Michelle's Summer of Discovery

Michelle’s Summer of Discovery

Chapter 1
The move

Spring break wasn’t as much fun as it could have, that is, should have been. You’d think that when your mother won the lottery for 1.7 million dollars, that you’d be doing something really great on spring break. But no, my sister, Lucy, and I were packing boxes. Mom had this really weird idea. She grew up on the farm and thought there was nothing more wholesome than living on a farm. She sold the house and between her first year's annuity check and the equity in the house, she bought twenty acres with a house and an old fashion barn.

Dumb Bet

Dumb Bet

By Patricia Marie Allen

Edited by alys9

Author’s Note: While Alys9 did edit this for me,
I didn’t necessarily use all of her suggestions.
Any errors remaining in the text are mine.

“I don’t know why you can’t dress like a girl. I mean, I’ve never seen you in a dress and you’ve lived next door for five years,” I told Susie, the tomboy that lived next door. She was my sister’s age, two years older than me, and I was starting to notice girls and she was one I noticed. Under her jeans (boys) and loose shirt, there was a good looking body. The only time you could tell was when she put on a swimsuit. “And you should do something with your hair and maybe wear some nail polish or somethin’,” I continued.

“Leave her alone Frank. She can dress how ever she wants. I don’t blame her. I like to wear jeans and sweatshirts too,” my sister defended.

“Yeah, you’re nearly as bad as she is. You only wear dresses sometimes, when there’s some kind of special occasion. You’ve got a drawer full of nice nighties and all you ever wear to bed is flannel pajamas. The only difference between you and Susie is you polish your nails. Susie never wears dresses,” I complained.

“I don’t always wear flannel pajamas.”

“Oh yeah; I forgot. During the summer, you wear Dad’s old T-shirt and Boxers. Real girlie. I’ll bet Susie wears that kind of thing year round.”

Susie whispered something to Karen, who nodded. “I’ll tell you what,” Susie said. “Let’s have a contest. I’ll bet that I can do everything you do and that you can’t do everything I can do. If you win, I’ll wear whatever you say for a whole week and fix my hair all girlie. I’ll even let you go first.”

“What if I lose?”

“Well then,” she grinned, “you’ll have to wear whatever I say all week.”

“What ever we say… I’ll even do it too. And you’ll have to do something with the sorry mop you call hair to make it look better. I don’t know where you get off talking about Susie’s hair. At least she washes hers,” my sister Karen insisted.

The Crush: Patty’s Dilemma

The Crush:
Patty’s Dilemma

By Patricia Marie Allen

God, I just have to realize/accept that I’m not like other girls. All my friends at school are into the jocks, the BMOCs of the school. Not me. As a matter-of-fact, I’m not sure I’m in to guys at all. I mean, I can’t see myself doing all the things that lesbians do with each other, but when my friends talk about what they want to do with the guys they want to be with, I can’t see myself with one of their heartthrobs doing that kind of stuff either. It’s then, while they’re extoling the virtues the manly men they’re crushing on that I wonder if I’m a lesbian.


The warehouse I work out of sells excess pallets to a Hispanic gentleman. I have often helped him load. The pallets tend to get tippy as they come off the dock plate and I helped steady them. About half way through the loading process, he asked, "What's your name?" I answered, "Pat." He then asked, "Patricia?" Since it was work where I try to maintain a male persona, I corrected, "Patrick." He smiled and nodded and went back to work.

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Sci-fi book with mild TO element

I just finished a book called "Figment" by Marco Guarda. It's a pretty fair piece of science fiction in its own right. Icing on the cake for me was mild TG element. Not so much cross-dressing, per se as feminine emotional reactions and actions as a result on implanted woman's memories. Good book.

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T-man at my local Safeway.

I've suspected for some time that there was trans-person working at my local Safeway. The individual has always looked very androgynous. I guess the age to be about mid to late twenties. If this person was male, the lower age would be my guess. Even more confusing was that early on the name seemed to be Holly, but later, it became apparent that the name was Hollister, which I took to be a male name.

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My day at the Oregon Coast Aquarium

My wife and I were on vacation last week on the Oregon Coast. I love her dearly. She struggles to accept and understand her feminine husband. It is with great effort that she lets herself be seen with me when I'm not masquerading as an average male.

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Benefits of having a transgender husband

This morning my wife slipped in the kitchen and fell, bruising her right shoulder. She doesn't deal with pain well. It took a bit to get her off the floor and onto the couch so I could check her over for serious injuries. Thankfully, there were none,but she didn't feel like moving around, so I let her rest while I cleaned the kitchen of the cereal and broken dishes she had been carrying. An hour later she informed me that she thought she should stay home from church because it hurt to much to lift her arm to put on her make-up. As I said she doesn't deal with pain to well.

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An Invitation to Come Out

An Invitation to Come Out
By Patricia Marie Allen

Even after eight years of marriage, Charles still couldn’t bring himself to tell his wife. He was just too afraid of losing her. It would be different if he had told her before they were married. But who knew this would be a lifetime condition. Oh sure, he knew that by the time he got married, he had given into the urges five or six times a week. Almost daily. He had still thought having a wife would banish the habit.



By Patricia Marie Allen

The days were getting shorter. Summer had just flown by. Patrick was beginning to feel a quite a panic setting in. He had promised to find a job by the end of summer, but his heart just wasn’t in it. Here it was already the second week of September. His father was getting impatient. Patrick would rather have gone to school. He had the grades for it. But his father had not supported his choice of schools. Linfield’s College of Nursing at Good Samaritan Hospital was accepting men in the nursing program. In two years he could be an LPN if he stuck it out four, he could graduate an RN. But his Dad said “I’m not paying anybody to turn my son in to a pantywaist male nurse!”

Interesting visit for a sonogram

Just got back from a sonogram. I went to the new Kaiser West Side Hospital. They set my appointment for the third floor. I checked in as usual using my male ID and the reaction was admirable. I was wearing white Capris and an all in one top consisting of a black cami, trimmed in lace and an open front over shirt in a multicolor print. The lady doing the check in didn't blink and just checked me in. She then walked me back to the waiting area.

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Another Keizer Doctor passes muster.

Some time ago, my primary care physician at Kaiser retired and I was force to select another one. I just went online and picked out one who was accepting new patients. This time she's young. But then remember, at 69 it doesn't take much to look young to me; however, my last doctor was nearly my age.

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A moral dilemma

In the last five or six years, I've been spending all of my free time (time not at work) wearing 100% women's clothes. Even at work, only my outer wear is men's clothing and only then because I'm a truck driver and my company issues a uniform; otherwise I'd be in women's jeans and polo shirt. Even at work, I wear a bra with breast forms as well as all other women's underwear, including my socks. Even my shoes are women's.

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FW: Come Sit With Me

My wife forwarded this to me as part of the 8 women she was supposed to forward it too. That says a lot about the level of acceptance she has regarding my feminine nature.

So, I send it to all of you in hopes that it will touch you the way it touched me.

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It Was His Mistake… So Why Am I Dressed Like This

It Was His Mistake…
So Why Am I Dressed Like This?

by: Patricia Marie Allen

Based on “One Small Mistake,” by Rachel Ann Cooper,
a story posted on Fictionmania

You may have read about my friend Cory’s mistake the got him a closet full of girls clothes, but if not, I’ll bring you up to speed.


This week has been a staycation one of those times when you have to use vacation time to avoid losing out. We are saving up for a big vacation next year and so our time this year is spent at home. My wife was out of the house all day today and I had an early morning errand to run, so I got dressed in my feminine best and went out. (My wife knows I do this, so don't think I was sneaking out.)

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Am I being too optimistic?

Am I being too optimistic in checking on Crystal's Story Site each day? I've taken her at her word that she's restructuring the entire database and will one day finish. However, it's been since March of 2009 since there's been any news. Does anyone know... Is Crystal still working on it, or has it been just too much to accomplish and maybe I should give up looking at the "What's New" page for an update?

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Girls Aren't So Yukky After All


By Patricia Marie Allen

Steve is a precocious ten-year-old, usually given to doing just what Steve wants to. He lives with his mother and 12 year old sister, Martha. Martha is quite opinionated. She has stated flat out, on more than one occasion, that she would rather have a sister than a brother.


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