Audrey Hepburn and I

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New school year, new school!

To be honest it was quite daunting to come to the huge High School from our smallish Middle School. Fortunately there were two of us. Me and my fraternal twin sister. Why do people talk about “fraternal twin” when it’s about a girl? Anyway, there we were. Cary and Katherine against the world. Well, not really. Even if the big school scared us, which we’d NEVER admit to anyone else, we didn’t really have anything to fear. We usually found it easy to find new friends or at least gET along with people. We had very good grades without being pegged as nerds since we were good at sports as well. Both Sis and I had selected courses geared towards science and technology with future engineering degrees in mind.

As expected, there was a huge crowd milling around. Sis and I got lost at first and then we ran into an Audrey Hepburn look-alike. She really owned the style. Short hairstyle, black turtleneck, slim black trousers, and ballet flats. Body language was similar as well as far as I could see. Sis could hardly keep herself from laughing. As it happens, I’m a great fan of Audrey Hepburn. As it turned out “Audrey” both was heading to the same homeroom as Sis and I AND she’d been smart enough to print out a map before coming. We happily followed her lead. In my case very happily as I walked behind her and Sis.

Homeroom with old Mrs Baldwin, a physics teacher, brought a number of surprises. The people in there had all chosen Science courses like Sis and I. Sadly gender stereotyping reared its ugly head and it turned out that Sis was the ONLY girl in our homeroom. What about “Audrey”? you might wonder. That was the second surprise Audrey was a BOY. That was something he was quite firm about. Then there was another matter that he had somewhat different ideas than most people when it comes to what a boy IS. The third surprise was his name: Audrey Hepburn. No kidding!

Later when we had learnt to know each other better Audrey told us that his parents had intended to name him Aubrey after a maternal granduncle. Granduncle Aubrey was rather wealthy and had no children. Add to that that he thoroughly despised everyone in the family. Sad that parents can be so mercenary. Somehow there had been an error in the birth certificate and it stated Audrey instead of Aubrey. No one noticed that until Audrey started in pre-school. Audrey’s parents started to have that changed but changed their mind when Granduncle Aubrey heard about it and thought it was hilarious. Oh, by the way Audrey’s parents had no interest in cinema at all so THEY didn’t make the connection. As it turned out Audrey and Aubrey found that they liked each other so in a very strange way Audrey’s parents’ scheme worked out. The only thing was that Audrey had convinced Aubrey to take better care of himself and thus the Granduncle was to live a long and healthy life.

In primary school Audrey had become aware of that “other” Audrey Hepburn. It was so obvious since he was sort of waif-like himself apart from the same black hair, thick eyebrows, slim body, and gamine looks. Audrey was smart and young as he was he realized that he’d have two choices. Either he’d fight it for the rest of his life or he’d own it. He owned. Oh boy did he own it!

Not that he let Audrey (1) decide everything he did but as we’d seen Audrey (2) emulated the way she dressed among other things. I don’t know if the body language was deliberate of just a secondary effect.

Since Audrey was the closest thing to a girl in most of our classes Sis gravitated to him, and so did I. We soon became close friends. Even our extra-curricular interest coincided. Audrey tried out for the Baseball C Team. So did Sis. Both got accepted. The powers that be tried to shunt Sis off to the softball team. The didn’t know my sister. She tends to be “somewhat” assertive when it come to get what she wants. “Me” is one of her favorite words. She also heard Audrey say that he was curious about cheerleading but had decided not to try out since there were only girls’ only teams. Sis and Audrey tried out and got accepted in that C team as well. Sis can be maddeningly self-righteous and bossy at times. This didn’t mean that Audrey wore a skirt for meets. The school had changed the cheerleading uniforms some years before. I have to admit that he was really cute in those tight short shorts and the short tight top that left his belly bare.

The cheerleading coach was quite satisfied with their performance but resented the extra work having another choreography and set-up for the baseball games.

I thought about convincing Audrey to try out for football, like I did. I thought about for about 1 minute before realizing how ridiculous it was. Oh, I did get into the football C team as a wide receiver.

One thing Audrey and I did have in common was ballet. We both were quite advanced dancers and in the same class. Since Audrey was a boy he wore a boy’s outfit in ballet classes. For him a boy’s outfit meant white tights OVER his deep mauve string leotard. Actually white tights offers the teacher a better view of how the muscles work so I changed away from my black and white outfit, i.e. black tights and white t-shirt, to a white and black instead.

When Audrey later started pointe classes he didn’t wear pink pointe shoes. What boy would? At first he wore black Bloch pointe shoes (he needed a very wide shoe) but later he shifted to bright red. Very few people, including Bloch resellers, know that Bloch pointe shoes can be ordered in black, red and white as well.

That first semester and later whenever he had a new teacher, he liked to confuse the teachers and often came to school in a skirt or a dress. Always looking absolutely fabulous. Many were the teachers that thought Audrey was girl only to realize, much later, their mistake. It went so far that faculty used to have a pool as to how long it would take a new teacher or substitute to find out the sex (and gender, Audrey would insist) of Audrey. Strictly no cheating by whispering the answer of course.

I was a bit envious of Sis since the baseball teams, C eventually became B and then A, often had activities together. To make things worse the cheerleaders frequently had sleepovers. According to what Sis told me the other cheerleaders very much appreciated Audrey’s makeup tutorials. Well, men wear makeup too, don’t they? Not that our ballet class didn’t do things together. Not very often though and at first it was only those taking pointe. Later I was awarded “honorary” pointe status. That was after had I tried it for a while. My ancles weren’t really built for it, though.

Audrey, Sis and I spent a lot of time together outside those activities as well. We studied together. We went to the movies together. We went to our respective games together. In parallel with Audrey’s and Sis baseball careers I advanced in the football teams as a wide receiver.

We even spent parts of our summer vacations together as well. The first summer our parents had rented a house by a lake. We were lucky with the weather and had a great time. Audrey shocked our neighbors the first time he went to the lake in his trunks. “Girls” aren’t supposed to do that. I’m convinced Audrey had set them up deliberately. The only problem with that summer was that I had to acknowledge to myself, and ONLY to myself, that my feelings towards Audrey weren’t strictly those of a friend.

Sophomore year was somewhat of a strain for me.

The next summer our parents sent us away on language courses. Sis took Spanish so she went to Costa Rica. Audrey and I went to the same course in France. As we got of the aircraft Audrey told me that he had no intention to fight the natural assumption of him being a girl. And since I was in love with him we could be boyfriend and girlfriend for the summer. Much less complicated than trying to swat away unwanted interest from various boys. Ok, I had apparently been less successful than I thought when it came to hiding my feelings for Audrey.

At the course Audrey was a sensation. “Her” looks, the way “she” dressed and she even danced ballet. We took classes there as well and she got no end of compliments. Ok, so our teacher thought that I was very good as well. I, and to appearances Audrey as well, had a great time in France. The language, the food, the ambience, the dating, the warm evenings with the romantic light … Pas mal, pas mal du tout!

We kept dating when we got back to school. To my surprise that caused only a minor stir, apart from few catty remarks from one of the girls in ballet class who fancied me. One of my friends told me it was just sooo obvious that we would get together. Yep, I hadn’t really fooled anyone. I think Junior year was the best year of my entire high school experience. Everything went my way in every way academically, athletically (I was bumped to the A team) and romantically. Cary and Audrey was THE couple in school.

The summer after Junior year was even better than the one before. Audrey and I went to another course in France. Once more Audrey didn’t bother about the “boy” part. Once more we had a great time.

Senior year Audrey definitely came over as being more on the feminine side. However, as Audrey said, wearing skirts and dresses and dating a boy doesn’t really make someone a girl, does it? Despite everything something was beginning to slip. Audrey never had committed herself, er, himself to me exclusively and he started to date someone else as well; the star of the baseball team. After Christmas he dated the baseball captain more than me. I started to get desperate. Finally I took the ultimate step and asked Audrey to marry me.

Audrey still had that newlywed glow at our prom. His prom dress was to die for. It was a no-brainer that Audrey would be elected prom princess. The committee had decided to retire the “Queen” title. To crown Audrey prom “Queen” would have been tacky. The corresponding prom “Prince” was a very reluctant prince indeed. Being the Prom Princess’ partner was not really a good enough reason etc etc.

Personally I thought Katherine looked extremely handsome in her tux. She had sulked for the entire week just because she wouldn’t get to wear a beautiful gown like her husband but Audrey had been adamant. Yeah, Sis had beaten me to proposing to Audrey, by one hour. Not that that would have changed anything. I think.

I was happy for them. Truly I was. Sad of course but happy for them. I was at the prom stag. As for my intended partner … well, you already known. I tried to make the best of it. I danced. I mingled. I was over the top outrageous with the girls, though always making sure that they understood it was just good fun. I was outrageous with Mrs Baldwin, my 70-year old physics teacher that nobody would believe was a day under 50 as long as she had her mouth shut. As soon as she started talking people would start guessing at 30.

If anyone could appreciate my banter and give it back with interest (usurious at that) she was the one. After a few minutes she asked me to dance. I accepted. To my delight I found out that she was without doubt the best dancer (except me) of all the people at the prom. When I prodded her about it she admitted something she had kept very secret form everyone in school until then. Oh, this was her last year as a teacher so she wasn’t really risking anything. When she was in her early 20s she had been a professional ballet dancer. Not a prominent one but, anyway, a professional dancer with one of the more well-known companies. Too bad she hadn’t really been good enough for a career in ballet.

Just for fun I did a pirouette. She kicked off her shoes and did a double pirouette and a tour en l’air. Of course I had to kick off my shoes and do a triple pirouette and a double tour en l’air. From there we go into an improvised pas de deux. At first we only did things that didn’t require any floor-space. No grand jetés or piqué turns across the room. Soon though, people started to give us more room and then stopped dancing to watch us. Now we could do glissade, glissade, assamblé and sissonnes and things like that. Good thing we both had warmed up a bit by dancing actively before. Still, it was rather stupid of us. Anyway, I could see that Mrs Baldwin was getting tired so I told her we should round if off. The “old lady” then surprised me by whispering “32 fouettés and then a fish dive”. Damned stupid of her! A fish dive takes both really good coordination of both dancers and complete trust but I couldn’t stop her, she had already started her fouettés.

She did it! I did my part as well. Mrs Baldwin must have known that I was a really good ballet dancer. A REALLY good one, much better than Audrey.

Mrs Baldwin and I retired to the punch table to refresh ourselves and rest. The normal dancing recommenced. My sister Katherine and her husband Audrey Hepburn made their way to us.

“Cary, Mrs Baldwin that was really amazing”

Mrs Baldwin curtsied gracefully and I took a bow.

Then the indefatigable Mrs Baldwin asked me.

“Mr Grant, would you like to ask me to dance this waltz?”

Teachers! You gotta love them! At least some of them.

To this day I don’t know if Mrs Baldwin had planned it or not. It doesn’t matter. She had firmly yanked me out of my funk. What she did for me I will always treasure. The last thing she taught me in high school, the last thing she taught anyone as a high school teacher, was that life is fun! Live it to the fullest! So what if you hit a bump every now and again? Just put the foot on the accelerator and off you go again.

That was my best senior prom, ever!

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Comments

life is fun

"life is fun" - someone here on bcts stated this more than once I guess.

Excellent "Real world" story.

And now we interrupt normality with a Bru story

I am very grateful to Wendy K for that comment.

My stories may not be exactly what you expect to happen in the Real World. However, they might just possibly happen.

No magic involved in most of them. No SF. No furries.

:)

All in the Family

BarbieLee's picture

Katherine could have worn a prom dress if school rools..., i mean rules allowed Audrey to wear a prom dress. Boy, girl, boy, girl, boy, girl only couples is so archaic anyway. Yet is was Carry who was the Belle of the Ball along with Mrs Baldwin? Memories made to last a lifetime.
Someone once said, "youth is wasted on youth as they have no idea what they have". I like to think he was wrong as they are building memories to take out, dust off, and laugh or grimace as they run them through their mind.
Hugs Bru, I'm having a hard time thinking of what I want to borrow since you aren't showing up in pics lately. It doesn't matter I couldn't wear what you wore or more correctly I don't dare.
Barb
Sent my lawyer a pic and asked if it was appropriate for court? She said it would be nice. You and the girls wouldn't want to come for moral support..., ? Or distract the judge.

Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl

Yep, Prom royals definitely upstaged

When it came to what Audrey's partner wore that was on the insistence of Audrey and had nothing to do with school rules. Actually, the school had proven itself quite open and relaxed about things like that.

So it's time to borrow something again but you are at a loss about the present content of MY big closet? What about the very short maid's uniform with a generous decolletage? Of course that was only strictly for business. Worked on the same basic principle as magician's patter (of course I'm not taking about those with REAL magic).

I think you'd prefer the ligth summer dress mostly in blue with some yellow highlights that is almost of a decent length.

Aren't you ashamed? Adressing me in same the sentence where you use the word "moral"!

Court is fortunately an experience I still have to experience. Hope everything goes well.

Terrific!

Robertlouis's picture

Wonderful story. I read it almost like a screenplay. And despite it being contemporary, it had a very 50s to early 60s feel, so Stanley Donen would have directed it…

Back from my fantasy. You have a unique style Bru, always playful, sometimes dark, perhaps with a twist, but wonderfully entertaining. That was, indeed, fun!

☠️

Your insights surprise my a bit

Not that I don't agree. Far from it. I hadn't thought about the 50s/60s flavour.

I mostly write the stories for myself and right now I needed something a bit up-beat.

Another delightfully twisted story

SammyC's picture

Did you know Katharine Hepburn and Audrey Hepburn never worked together? I'm not sure if Audrey was Katharine's type off-screen. But then again, neither of them was Cary Grant's type either. From what I hear...

Sammy

I wondered how long it would take

for someone to connect to the other two names.

I hadn't checked about the two Hepburns never working together. I'm not surprised though. Two stars like that would have been somewhat expensive in one film. Besides their strong points were rather different. Add to that that their personalities most likely would have clashed as well.

Of course SOMEONE could have written a script just because of that.

Wonderful

I love stories that play hob with stereotypes. Great job!

What stereotypes?

Some of it is actually autobiographical. Not all of it by far, but parts of it.

You may have noticed that I like to play around with stereotypes and assumptions. Such a fun field to work with!

Thank you.

Started to mention and then decided no

BarbieLee's picture

I've known you long enough to realize there was some of you in that story. I decided with recent comments some things were best left unsaid. So happy you brought up what I was reluctant to mention. It almost makes you human like the rest of us instead of the mistress of the night.
I've been in court so many times I should have a lawyer's license by osmosis. No other parties involved this time, just me but it's very personal and important to me. I want the judge to have no doubt who the woman in front of him is. If I had your figure and borrowed one of your "dresses" I'd give him the wrong impression.

Broken Cup
He turned his full attention on me. “Miss Masters what is it you do?”
“I’m a professional entertainer your honor.”
His eyebrows went up. “Professional entertainer!”
That caught me off guard. I could tell what kind of entertainer he might be thinking of the way I was dressed. “uh…, not that kind your honor. I’m a singer with a band.”
Hugs Bru, stay safe, my life would be too dull without you.
Barbie Jean Lee

Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl

Life is Fun.

Daphne Xu's picture

Oh, how I wish I could live according to that motto.

Good story.

-- Daphne Xu

Have you read

Have you read what's below your name?

To be honest the "moral" of this story is really directed at myself.

My Sig?

Daphne Xu's picture

I admit, I wish I could live fully by that notion as well. But it does work when trying physics and math problems.

Strange, I haven't seen any Yoda quotes recently.

-- Daphne Xu

A very odd tale,

But then from Bru I would expect no less.

What Was More Spectacular?

If you combined all the Busby Berkeley movies, could they equal one girl on a fire escape with a guitar?

Marriage is the union of one man and one woman. . .or not!

Jill

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Less is more, more or less?

To change subject to the latter part of your comment: What constitutes a marriage changes constantly over space and time.

Quite a fascinating subject marriage.
One or several wifes/husbands? Ranked spouses or not? Concubines or not? Same sex or not? Temporary, semipermanent or eternal?

Some people who refer to the bible to claim that "Marriage is the union of one man and one woman" is the only divinely sanctioned form have not read the Old Testament.

My favorite is "Associated Polyandry" where both male and female may have other spouses at the same time.

Thank you Bru

This reminder that we should enjoy life is just what I needed right now. Just like Cary losing Audrey to his sister, my days recently have been bleak. But there is light out there and I need to grab it with gusto.

>>> Kay

It may take some time

After hard knocks it may take some time to come back. Not going into the light ... scrap that, wrong analogy. Not at least trying to look at the bright side of life isn't very productive (in my experience).

Cute story

Jamie Lee's picture

This was one of those fun stories to read. It is concise, and yet is informative.

Others have feelings too.

Surprised

I hadn't thought about it as informative.
Yes, my stories are rather compact. I like them that way. Some people like them that way, some don't. Isn't variety lovely!

I'm happy to have brought you some joy. And thank you for bringing me some joy by telling me that.