Life is a Drag

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The London drag club was not in the least CD, sorry seedy. The audience was quite sophisticated and the ambiance friendly and gay (in the original sense of the word). The artists were top of the range. They were not only beautiful but very talented as well. If some of them wore skimpy costumes that was not the only thing they had to offer. However, the star of the evening could not be accused of wearing skimpy attire, nor was “she” young and beautiful. The only way to describe the “Baroness” was outrageous.

The outrageously camp appearance contrasted very effectively with the perfect, and no less outrageous, aristocratic accent and demeanour (most of the time). The act was a very political one. From the pretended point of view of an old school aristocrat the “Baroness” skewered the political and societal establishment from left to right, from top to bottom, many of them in the audience. The “Baroness” was an equal opportunity skewerer. Many in the audience came only for the political insights the “Baroness” provided, even if often at their own cost.

When the applause finally faded away the “Baroness” went into “her” dressing room and changed clothes and wigs before leaving for “her” rented room. There “she” changed again to go to “her” “day-job”. Not only the building on the Thames was absolutely Gothic (well, Gothic Revival), but so was the working hours and conditions there. On the way to her job “she” once again lamented to “herself” that “she” had been born a half-century too early. Had “she” been 20 instead of 70 “she’d” come out. Now? Now it was too late, “she” once again concluded. Oh, life had not been that bad. “Her” marriage had been out of convenience rather than passion but they had become very good friends. “Her” children had turned out well. They knew about “her” and had stated that they’d support “her” if “she” decided to take the step. The grandchildren and great-grandchildren had not been told. Maybe they knew, maybe they didn’t. Still, “her” life had always had this dark shadow over it. The shadow of pretending to be someone “she” wasn’t. The pain of not being “herself”. Yes, “she” could come out now but so many people would be hurt. Besides, the “Baroness” had been steeped in a culture of Duty Above All. Noblesse Oblige the “Baroness” thought with an ironic smile. Then there was the risk that much of what “she” had achieved over the last half-century would be tainted. At the age of 70 there was little to be gained and much to be lost. Especially since the quirks of the society “she” had been born into, and raised in, allowed “her” to do some good for another ten, twenty or possibly thirty years more. Who knows, in twenty years’ time coming out might be a net gain for the cause? Unfortunately, that was not the case at present. “She” could live with that. “She’d” done that for 70 years, what was another decade or two?

“She” got out of the car at the Palace of Westminster and passed security. To avoid the eager, talented, obsequious and obnoxiously ambitious young aides, the “Baroness” took refuge in one of the many bars. There “she” was found by a young man.

“Milady, they are waiting for you.”

“She” finished “her” drink and with a sigh Lady Victoria, Countess suo jure, the only peeress out of the 90 hereditary peers in the House of Lords, minister of state, strong advocate for the rights of women and LGBT+ (not that there had been that many letters at first), pillar of society, the very model of a modern aristocrat slowly made his way.

With an ironic afterthought the Countess reflected that the only true presentation of himself was on the stage in that drag club: A man, dressed up and pretending to be a Lady.

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Comments

Ah -

Podracer's picture

Twisty Bru I suspect to have double-jointed typing fingers. Great little plot.

"Reach for the sun."

Real Bru

Good twist and good read.

I think this one broke my brain

a woman, pretending to be a man who dresses up as a woman?

oh wait, wasn't that a movie once?

DogSig.png

Did you notice the "Baroness" real name?

However, in this story Countess Victoria does not consider himself to be a woman.

Thank you for your faithful comments.

Can't Unwind this One

BarbieLee's picture

Read it before anyone commented. Tried to make sense of it but English Lords and Dames are a strange bunch except to Diana Rigg. Not sure what all them big names Bru tossed into the story? Countess suo jure? I spent more time trying to decipher meanings than reading and still got lost.
Best move is to not move until others leave comments as to what in the cat hair is Bru up to now? Read it for the third time and gave up. The story is as convoluted as the author herself. No wonder she's so good at weaseling secrets out of governments and military. They probably don't understand her either.
Hugs Bru
Barb
Not sure how stable Putin is. Hope you aren't close to any of that.

Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl

Somewhat convoluted story this time, explainer and spoiler

For the poor readers that got lost in my less-than-easy-to-comprehend story:

Lady Victoria is an old genetic lady that is F2M. Unfortunately it was unthinkable to acknowledge that when He was young.
To compound the problem Lady Victoria is the heir of a noble title in "her" own right. It's not common for women to be able to inherit noble titles in the UK but in some cases it's possible. That's usually referred to as suo jure as opposed to a countess being a countess just because she is married to an earl (UK nobility is rather confusing). This meant that Lady Victoria automatically had a seat in the House of Lords until recently. In this story she was then elected to be one of the 90 hereditary lords in the revamped House of Lords (in reality all of them are genetic men).

Another factor is that Lady Victoria is rather prominent politically.

To relieve the pressure Lady Victoria has created the stage persona "The Baroness". The genetic woman (but really a man) appears on the stage as drag queen, that is as a man dressed as a woman.

Is that really so convoluted?

As for Vladimir Vladimirovich, I've stopped consorting with him. One, he's such a boring man. Two, talk about toxic masculinity. A school book example of overcompensation.

Life is a drag

Genuine Bru, so twisty it needs to be read with two mirrors. The poor main character, to be a small minority part of a small minority. To also suffer from Noblesse Oblige, or that is how I read it. At least he has an outlet even if that is also a closely kept secret.

Time is the longest distance to your destination.

Are You Related

joannebarbarella's picture

To IrnBru? Do you have Scottish ancestry?

Nae

I haven't even been to Scotland.

My ancestry ir rather boring. On both sides people have investigated my family tree rather extensively (including the biggest mapped family in the world). Going back to the 14th century in some cases, the only known foreign ancestry I have is due to the extension of my native country, That is, some ancestors lived in what today is my native country but wasn't at the time.

However, I've come to learn about the Scottish drink since starting to post here. And yes, I was referrring to it.

I thought

I thought you were referring to your car's registration plate. I have caught you once at your car

bru.jpg

A Crossfire?

Emma Anne Tate's picture

How very (tight) fitting!

Emma

Will the real Bru please stand up?

Dee Sylvan's picture

Has Qmoto stumbled across the answer to our questions about how Bru got twisted? I suppose there are worse things that could happen than getting stranded in the snow in that outfit, but still... I'm glad I reread this story after reading the comments because I didn't even know what questions to ask initially. Thanks Bru! :DD

DeeDee

Twisted - there are so many possibilities

Drastic temperature changes, such as in the picture, can lead to warping.
It could also be because the child of the manufacturer of Twist was a class-mate.
Then occasionally I claim that my writing is done in warped speed 4 which could have influenced my mind.

But why go any further that nature and nurture?
I owe soooo much to my mother!

There is a fine line between cool and cold.

Usually I prefer skirts with a bit more of a swish, and perhaps just a little longer (an inch or so). Or to quote one of my characters "Ah told y'all Ah just kinda like the feeling of a skirt against them legs."

Thank you for the pictiure!

Clever!

Even more than your usual. Your explanation made some clarification of detail, but I think I had caught the basics before your explanation comfirmed it.