Jail Bait

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Lately I had actually enjoyed going to school. It had started when a group of documentary filmers had chosen our school to do a documentary about every-day high school life. This would be their fifth week here. The first week everyone tried to get their attention. They strongly discouraged that. Their goal was to be as unnoticeable as possible. Blending in into the background while filming with their carefully disguised cameras, as well as some fixed cameras. By the fourth week they had succeeded quite well. The students didn’t take more notice of them than they did of the poster for the Chess club’s next game in the state championships. Quite a pity, I had spent quite a lot of time making that poster.

So given that the film team wasn’t interested in any drama queens why did my best friend Phil come to school dressed as a girl?

I wouldn’t say that he was beautiful. He really didn’t have the basics for that. 5'8", a bit pudgy, rather rugged face. However, someone had gone to great lengths to make him pretty and done a good job. He WAS pretty. You might even say very pretty, but then I may be biased.

Usually it was I who was bullied for being girly. To begin with I’m named Andrea. My parents come from Italy. I’ll tell you a secret: not ALL Italians are 6' tall, blond and have blue eyes. I’m 5'1", 5' ¾" according to school records but that’s not true. I am 5'1"! Long black hair that my mother loves to brush every evening (that’s the first thing to go when I go to college), fine feature, doe eyes, skinny and then add “Freshman”. What’s not to like for a bully? It didn’t really help that I did all I could to hide my “cuteness”; tussling my hair before coming to school, wearing baggy and dirty clothes. I didn’t slouch. Not when you are 5'1" (NOT 5' ¾"!).

This was one reason I liked the film team. Since they came the bullies had been a bit more careful. The team had chosen well. Our high school was very average in many ways. Average sized town, average number of students, academically a bit below average. The only things that stuck out were the baseball team and cheerleading team. Both were there at the top of the state. I almost forgot, the chess team had got a shot at the state championship as well since we had strong team that year, but who cared? Baseball and Cheer got more than their fair share of the schools limited resources. As for the team members? Have you heard the word entitled? The girls’ coach was a good one both professionally and as a person and kept the girls reasonably reined in. As for the baseball team - Nothing was too good for them, nothing they did could be wrong. I knew!

We had a Principal that acted very promptly to any complaint about bullying by the baseball players. Immediate dismissal of the complaint and detention for “slander” for the poor stupid schmuck who complained. Of course this was followed up by a beating by the entire baseball team afterwards. They had a favorite secluded spot in the school area. I may be intelligent but I’m not very smart. It took me three times before I learned.

So what was Phil thinking coming to school dressed as a girl and not as an obvious joke either? Pretty in the girl next door way and not bad at all in girlish manners. I sighed and met him. He may be really stupid to do this but he IS my best friend..

The first two periods were OK. Verbal abuse but nothing physical (I don’t count the shove I got in the boys’ room when I guarded Phil’s stall). Third period was PE and the baseball team had PE second period which meant that we shared the locker room. Not good!

That removed their inhibitions. The rest of the day the team harried us, well really Phil but I couldn’t just stay on the side, could I? As long as none of the 2 teachers in 5 that they weren’t sure would look the other way was near – we got it! I tried to shield Phil as much as possible but at 5'1" (NOT 5' ¾"!) I wasn’t really much of an obstacle.

The school ended by a visit to the baseball team’s favorite spot. The less said about what happened the better. At least it was rather brief. Chuck from the film team turned up just as the team had left and he called an ambulance. He followed us to the hospital and insisted that everything and he meant EVERYTHING was documented. He also called the police. The sergeant was inclined to walk away when he heard that the “alleged” perpetrators were in the baseball team. Then Lucy from the film team turned up and showed him something she had recorded and had a quiet conversation with him. I only heard a few words: media and scandal were among them. After that the Police changed their attitude.

Phil and Chuck told me to come to school early next day despite my broken ribs.

The next morning we went to see the Principal. It took him a while to realize that Lucy was filming the meeting. At first he dismissed our accusations. Trying to make light of it. It took almost 15 minutes for him to realize that Chuck and Lucy had a combined 2 hours 34 minutes and 36 seconds (counting all cameras) of footage with the baseball team verbally and physically abusing Phil and me. To my surprise Phil also told him that the entire baseball team had been interrogated by the police and that four of them were in jail. While released the others were not cleared. The investigation was ongoing. The Principal did not take this very well.

When the other students heard about the fall of the baseball team scores of them came forward with tales of bullying they had been subjected to or witnessed. By noon the Principal had resigned.

Later that day Lucy interviewed Phil and me.

Lucy: Phil, this was all your idea. Please tell us about it.
Phil: I knew that the baseball team’s bullying had to stop. The question was only how. The powers that be kept protecting them. Then you came. While they became more careful I was sure that if I baited them enough they would become careless and it would be caught on camera.
Lucy: So that’s why you contacted us and came to school dressed as a girl. You were the bait?
Phil (smiling): Well, you could call me “jail bait”

What! Phil had arranged all this and not told me?!

Lucy: Chuck and I are very sorry we couldn’t reach you sooner at that last beating. The observation spot we had found was a bit away and it took some time for Chuck to get there. Sorry!

Phil became serious and a bit concerned

Phil: It worked. Maybe coming to school dressed as girl worked a bit TOO well.
Lucy: How come?
Phil: Do you know Andrew Dupont?
Lucy: Student council president, very handsome, all-round nice guy? The uncontested alpha male in school now that the baseball team is history?
Phil: That’s him. Well, both he and Andrea have asked me for a date on Saturday. Who shall I go with?

I was furious. How could the rat tell Lucy about me asking him out? I had done it in light tone so he could take it as a joke if he wanted but by the third period beating I had realized that what I up till that day had thought was just feelings of deep friendship was something much more serious. Now he hanged me out and in front of the camera!

Phil: As you said Andrew is quite a catch while Andrea is only someone I share a lot with. The choice really is quite simple.

I was terribly hurt by what he or is it she or whatever was saying. How could he do this with me sitting there. Cruelty thy name is woman!

Phil: It’s Andrea I like. I mean really LIKE. And he was my knight in not so shining armor today. And – have a closer look at him. He could clean up quite well and become quite good-looking. Don’t you agree Lucy?
Lucy (mumbling): Those eyes, the hair, a face like that.
Lucy (speaking): No I don’t agree. Give my sister an afternoon and he will be absolutely stunningly BEAUTIFUL!

I was a bit conflicted about that but then I looked at them. Both had radiant smiles, one admiring, the other – something much dearer to me.

With two beautiful women looking at me like that – Well, I felt like I was almost 5'8"!

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Comments

giggles

nice one!

DogSig.png

Giggle.

WillowD's picture

Nice pun.

Thank you

Thank you to you and Dorothy.
Always a pleasure to know that you liked the story.

Helping?

Daphne Xu's picture

It seems to me that the Principal, and perhaps members of the police department, could be prosecuted for helping the assault and battery. Admittedly, it's rather unlikely.

I wonder if this is a school that might have paddled or thrashed Phil for dressing as a girl.

-- Daphne Xu

Culture

The school and apparently the town had succumbed to a quite common condition. Anything to keep something successful going. It's easier to do nothing than act and be censored by your peers. If a mentality like that is allowed to dig in in a community ...
The Principal was not stupid, only unprincipled. There was no need to take official notice of Phil dressing as a girl. That could back-fire and Phil would be "corrected" anyway. I'd expect that the Principal also is bright enough to find a new job somewhere else really quickly. Out of sight, out of mind. As for the Police. Being complicit in assault and battery? That is a serious charge. Do you have any proof? Look, as soon as we heard about the attack on Andrea and Phil we took immediate action. And so on and on and on.

Hmm...

Daphne Xu's picture

The Unprincipled Principal. Wonder if I could do anything with it.

-- Daphne Xu

I Must Be Thick

joannebarbarella's picture

I missed something here. It was a nice story but where was the pun?

You and me both

If I included a pun it was not planned. On the other hand we have Andrea's obsession with his height.

Was it intentional?

BarbieLee's picture

I know you people across the pond don't really have a grip on the English language. And that's beside using those messed up systems called metrics, and Celsius. But really, was Andrea only five inches one foot tall?
Girl, I wish I could say you worry me sometimes but nay, you worry me most of the time. A river cruise up the Rhine on Viking Lines, you, me, a week together? Girl's vacation?
always,
Barb

Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl

OOOPS, I did it again :)

It's not really the English language that is the main problem. The problem is that people in the United States (who unilaterally have appropriated the name of the entire continent, remember that those trying to cross the southern border strictly speaking also are Americans) keep insisting on using outdated and illogical measures. Trolling, trolling and trolling :)

Bru

Aw, and just as I had planned a Viking style vacation along the coasts of England, Scotland and Ireland. Of course you're invitied. Bring your own sword.

We're Invading England?

BarbieLee's picture

Are you presenting as a Viking Warrior or a Shield Maiden? I wannabe the warrior this time. Those long skirts and sword skirmishes are very restrictive. You can be the eye candy for all those horny ol men. Intoxicated on spirits and feeling frisky, they don't understand no.
Barb

Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl

To be serious for once

As graves around the viking town of Birka show it appears that female warriors weren't that uncommon. As for dress - textiles very seldom are preserved but most likely they dressed as the men when fighting.

The men probably were horny but their helmets weren't. Adding horns to a helmet used in fighting is just plain stupid.

Bru

But, but...

Hagar the Horrible had horns on his helmet. His sidekick ashed him how he got the helmet on over his horns.

Only "almost 5'8" "!

Why not "almost 5' 8 1/4" "? That quarter inch is obviously very important to Andrea.
Loved it!

Two heroes

One that put himself (herself?) in the line of fire, and the other that protected her. And together, they tackled a long standing bullying problem.

One knowingly, one instinctively

Personally I'm a bit disappointed in Phil. Doing something like that and not tell Andrea was not really nice.
Phil may have been very security conscious but since Andrea took a significant part of the bumps ...

Take your time

I do write rather convoluted stories.
If you need any clarificiations about how I thought just send me a message.
I hope you enjoy the story (now or later).

Bru

Like I said

it took a little while but I got there , it was an aha moment for me, you keep writing and I'll keep reading. A beautiful friendship.

Bru...Bru...Bru..

Bru...Bru...Bru..

Why must you change so often? Just when we think we have you figured out, you go and shake things up and give us the punchline in the story then make it all the more We go looking for a punchline to fit the title and you gave us a literal meaning! And on top of that, it's not even the heart of the story! I keep calling you brilliant, I mean it every time.

And as someone who has been there I know how much that extra 1/4th of an inch means to someone- I'm 6'4", not 6'3 and 3/4ths as my school insisted :(

I'm told STFU more times in a day than most people get told in a lifetime

Your expectations do keep me on my toes

Some of you are getting entirely too good at figuring me out so I have to change a little bit every time (or not, just to throw you off).

Being tall or short can be a blessing or a curse depending on the situation, e.g. airplanes.

When I was doing basic training in the military we were a group of 20. The guy that was 1 meter 98 centimeters (6'6") tall was a bit surprised the first day. He was only the third tallest in the group!

Two others were 2.03 and 2.04 respectively. At the other end the shortest of us was barely 1.60 (5'3"). We worked in pairs. 2.03 worked together with a guy measuring 1.67.