Laika

Too Much of a Goodyear Thing

A bizarre non-t.g. comic novella (well I thought it was funny anyway) that I wrote in the 1990's and am just stoned enough to post. Crude raunchy language, sexual + fetish themes, probably not work safe. If I get one kudo and one comment i'll be amazed...

Tommy has very specific tastes in women. They have to be blonde. Blondes with enormous breasts. Blondes with huge breasts who are wearing rubber. And it has to be RED rubber. Needless to say his sex life is mostly a solo affair, confined to some rather specialized fantasies. But this morning his imagined scenarios are taking on a life of their own. Each starts out nice and smutty, until all at once his rubber-clad Goddess realizes her taxes are due today, and then suddenly she's driving them all over searching for 1021-J forms; or whatever. A series of weird side plots taking our hero farther + farther afield from anything the least bit erotic. It is all...

 

TOO MUCH OF A GOODYEAR THING  

by Laika Pupkino
 

Laika Pupkino

Author: 

Audience Rating: 

Organizational: 

Laika Pupkino

(\ (\
(- .-)
((') (')

THE SILENCE OF THE NIGHT (Surreal Christmas horror story):
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/24405/silence-night

THE SECRET EXISTENCE OF MISTY WALTERS (A tg take on The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty):
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/9342/secret-existence-...

sexual assault survivor slams anti-trans group for co-opting her story

Blog About: 

Author: 

“I refuse to allow anyone to use me and my horrific sexual assault to cause harm and discrimination to others...”
,

On March 5th of this year Kelly Herron was assaulted in a park bathroom in Washington state and badly beaten as she fought off her would be rapist and captured him for the police.

Weeks later a friend called her and told her that a group (Just Want Privacy) trying to pass another one of these anti-trans bathroom bills in her state was using photographs of her battered face as proof of what allowing trans people use the "wrong" bathroom would lead to. The group hadn't asked her, and she was really really pissed off at being used by them to promote a bill that she is 100% against and has nothing to do with her being attacked by a cis male rapist.

Click Like or Love to appropriately show your appreciation for this post:

Off the Deep End- Apologies for the 6 months (+ counting) delay

To anyone still waiting for the next chapter of my serial OFF THE DEEP END, I sincerely apologize for the delay (I'd make some self-deprecating joke about "my five or six fans" here except I'm afraid that might actually be the case...).

Click Like or Love to appropriately show your appreciation for this post:

The Girl with Something Extra

The Girl with Something Extra
(Just a drabble...)
Laika Pupkino ~ 2016

I ran into Shay at work. “How was your date?”

“Another freak...”

“Damn!”

“Dinner was great. He was charming, funny. I'm thinking: 'Finally! A guy who'll treat me like just a normal girl...' But later he was like all the rest, interested in only one thing, that he wanted to fondle and probably suck on.”

Ewwww!!!!

How They Made Those Turkeys Run

A recent blog about grammar made me decide to post this goofy little story, a non-transgender tale about a brain-damaged man residing in an assisted living facility who has a battle of wits with the smartest man in the world...

HOW THEY MADE THOSE TURKEYS RUN
Laika Pupkino ~ 2016

The smartest man in the world was in Reno and I got to go see him. Because I was by the phone in the kitchen when HAPPY 101.2 had this contest, and because one of the staff people had the radio on, and the phone was unlocked; and so I called and answered their Skull Buster Question. They were giving people one week to figure it out, but it seemed to me like there was only one answer it could be, and I was right. But they got amazed when I called them so quick. Too bad the contest wasn't you got took to Hawaii or something but it was something at least, and the only thing I ever won that I know about.

The Dead Pirate Sketch

And now for something completely derivative...

THE DEAD PIRATE SKETCH
by Laika Pupkino ~ 2016

In a shop call PIRATES PLUS a bored looking shopkeeper is polishing a cutlass. The bell over the front door jingles and a man wearing a long mack enters, awkwardly, trying to open and close the door while wheeling in what appears to be a pirate tied to a dolly.

“I wish to register a complaint! It's about this pirate, that I purchased not a half hour ago for our INTERNATIONAL TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY celebration tonight, at this very boo-tique."

“Ah yes, the Nassau Bluebeard, what's wrong with him?”

“What's wrong with him?! He's DEAD! You sold me a dead pirate!”

Goodbye Themyscira

What happens when a transgender boy grows up in a world where there ARE no males?
From girl to boy, from Amazon to American, from Themyscira to Gotham City...
Kip Trevor's life has been one incredible journey!

GOODBYE THEMYSCIRA
(A sort of Wonder Woman/Justice League fanfic)
Laika Pupkino 2016

Off the Deep End 9 ~ The Little Human Part 3

When I came to I was on the patio deck of the Eureka, with Valerie and her parent gathered around me. Thinking they were rescuing me from drowning they had dragged me on board their yacht, where they tried to remove my “fake” tail and discovered the truth about me. So much for my people's Prime Directive of never letting yourself be seen by humans. I was a bad, bad mermaid!

But this wasn't quite the disaster as it could have been. Although they'd found out about me, any trouble this family might bring down on my species was a long ways off. They weren't exactly from around here. It seems that pirates aren't the only ones who can make a wrong turn in the Bermuda Triangle...

OFF THE DEEP END ~ CHAPTER 9
THE LITTLE HUMAN Part 3:
EUREKA!
Laika Pupkino ~ 2016

Off the Deep End 8 ~ The Little Human Part 2

My week as a mermaid continues: My young human friend and I surfaced and sat on a rock, where we could talk without having to use her underwater message pad. I was hoping she might start making sense now, but Valerie's strange stories were growing progressively stranger: Reagan and Kennedy on Mount Rushmore... A transsexual woman giving birth... Peace in Iraq but a war in Antarctica... I might have decided she just had a wild imagination, except she also had all this impossible hardware---like the artificial gill she'd been breathing underwater with---which had me wondering if I'd somehow wandered into an alternate universe. Given the kind of week I'd been having this didn't seem like such a crazy notion, but these mysteries had a different explanation that I would eventually discover. It was just a matter of time...

OFF THE DEEP END ~ CHAPTER 8
THE LITTLE HUMAN Part 2:
Girl Out Of Time
Laika Pupkino ~ 2016

Off the Deep End 7 ~ The Little Human Part 1

The first thing every mermaid learns is that if you see a human you're supposed to swim away as fast as you can. But the girl in the pink wetsuit was right here in front of me, and there was no way she would think she'd been mistaken about seeing me. My best recourse seemed to be to convince her not to tell anyone about meeting me, and as we talked (or rather I talked, while she typed her words on her neat little electronic message pad) this seemed to be working. But there were things Valerie was telling me here that made absolutely no sense. Either this girl was crazy or the whole universe was. Given the kind of week I'd had, my money was on it being the universe that had gone...

OFF THE DEEP END ~ Chapter 7
THE LITTLE HUMAN Part 1:
The Girl with the Gizmos
Laika Pupkino ~ 2016

Off the Deep End 6 ~ The White Ship

Today my sister decided to take me landlubbing, which the mermaid equivalent of the human sport of snorkeling- a low tech way to see all the pretty sights of a world that isn't your own. Except that instead of gliding weightlessly along through the water, our version has the tortoiselike pace of crawling with just your hands, mostly; and in some places you're basically rock climbing. It isn't easy. But the little island Anemone had brought me to was so breathtakingly gorgeous it made it all worth it. It had everything you'd hope to find on a on a tropical isle- from coconut palms to waterfalls. And being uninhabited we could explore it all without running into any humans...

Or so we thought. Until that big white boat pulled into our perfect island's perfect bay, and things got super intense as our pleasant outing turned into a desperate game of hide and seek.

OFF THE DEEP END
CHAPTER 6 ~ THE WHITE SHIP

Laika Pupkino ~ 2016

Off the Deep End 5 ~ Anemone & Enomena Part 3

Our pleasant dinner had degenerated into a loud fight between my mermaid sister & our mom; Anee yelling, “How can you keep harping about how awful land people are if you never even met one?!”

Mom stated flatly: “I know all I need to about them.”

“You think you do, but Daddy liked humans. And he had experiences with them, not just a bunch of ignorant bigotry!”

“I've had dealings with humans before.”

“When? When was this?! I've heard all your stories and you never mentioned-”

“I prefer not to discuss it.”

"Now there's a surprise! 'Ewww, it's unpleasant! Let's not discuss it!' mocked Anemone. She kept goading Mom, relentlessly, stopping just short of calling her a goddamn liar: “No Mom, I wanna hear this! Tell us! Tell us about your encounter with the horrible evil hewwww-mons-”

I FELL IN LOVE WITH ONE! roared the Queen, pounding a fist on the table. She froze there, stunned; like she'd just blurted out a secret she'd intended to take to the grave with her. Then she sighed, composed herself + told us her story...

OFF THE DEEP END ~ CHAPTER 5
ANEMONE & ENOMENA Part 3:
Wild Kingdom
Laika Pupkino 2016

Off the Deep End 4 ~ Anemone & Enomena Part 2

My sister and I had about as much fun as two mermaids can have that week.
.
On Monday she took me on a tour of the village up the hill from our castle, where everyone was curious to get a look at me. The whole ocean knew about Queen Atlantea's magically created second daughter by now; who as rumor had it was: “Beautiful, but dumb as a sea cow!“ But nobody was mean to their idiot princess. They all tried to look out for me, to make sure I wouldn't go kissing an electric eel or something.
.
As we sat at a table in Shellcastle's town square an adorable little girl came swimming up to us with a sea lily in her hand. The fry was confused that there seemed to be two Princess Anemones until I pointed; and she handed my twin the flower-animal before grabbing her in a hug.
.
And now the tiny mermaid wanted to hug me too. If this was celebrity I could get used to it...

OFF THE DEEP END ~ CHAPTER 4
ANEMONE & ENOMENA PART TWO
A Song For Future Generations
Laika Pupkino 2016

Things I think about when falling asleep...

Blog About: 

Author: 

It was the summer of 1940. In order to celebrate the progress made in Spain under Fascism, Francisco Franco decided to hold a grand exposition in Madrid, that would be as big and impressive as any world's fair, but it would be an all-Spanish affair, highlighting progress and prosperity and culture from every city and province.

But the dictator's timetable for the construction and opening of his exposition was hopelessly optimistic, and rumors began circulating of workers dying on the job, and that some of the pavilions seemed like they wouldn't hold together for the two months that the thing was supposed to last. The Department of Public Safety got wind of these rumors, and they sent a building inspector down to the exposition grounds to see what was going on.

Click Like or Love to appropriately show your appreciation for this post:

Off the Deep End 3 ~ Anemone & Enomena Part One

OFF THE DEEP END ~ CHAPTER 3
ANEMONE & ENOMENA PART ONE
Princess: First Day on the Job
Laika Pupkino 2016

Way back in another life---before I was kidnapped by pirates and jumped overboard in the dead of night and almost drowned but got turned into a mermaid by a genie from a bottle---my friend Pepper used say how I was lucky to not have any siblings. Every visit or phone call had at least one epic tale about the latest fight with her sister or how the little brat would borrow Pepper's things without asking, and then lose them or just leave them laying somewhere half wrecked...

But I could never quite believe that having a sister like Ginger wasn't good at least as often as it was bad. After being an only child for all my life, being twins with a mermaid princess was.... WoNDeRfuL!!!!

Maybe if Anemone and I had grown up together it wouldn't seem so special, but I was too new to this life to take any part of it for granted. It was hard to feel like there was anything worth fighting about when just brushing my long soft golden hair put me on a total high, if I wasn't already on one from having woke up in my clam shell bed that morning to discover: “Yep, still a princess!”

Anemone had been an only child until now too, and she was loving us being sisters as much as I was. We went everywhere and did everything together, and all the ocean's whales and dolphins, the fish, the stars, the shrimps and lobsters (but not so much the crabs...) and even the unbelievably stupid sponges were our friends.

Off the Deep End 2 ~ Fun With Your New Tail

“Good. You're awake,” said a girl's voice.

“Huh? Whah?” I burbled groggily at the pretty fish-girl I saw hovering in front of me. She looked about sixteen and was about the cutest girl I'd ever seen. Definitely the cutest mermaid.

I was in a beach chair in the seashell castle's courtyard. My legs felt weird and fat and there was something sitting on my chest. She said, “Please don't panic, but in order to save your life we had to-”

Of course when she said don't panic like that it's exactly what I did do, but only for a second. I looked down and saw what was on my chest. It was my chest. Beneath these two rather impressive breasts my waist narrowed and then flared out into girlish hips that were covered in beautiful jade green scales, which continued down the long sleek shiny tail I now had for legs. I wagged it back + forth experimentally. And this stuff floating around my face wasn't some kind of seaweed but my hair, super long and shimmering like gold.

“Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God,” was all I could say. “Oh my God! My God! My God!”

This summer vacation was turning out to be the strangest week of my life. Or maybe of anyone's...

OFF THE DEEP END
Chapter 2 ~ FUN WITH YOUR NEW TAIL

Laika Pupkino 2016

Off the Deep End 1 ~ "ARRRRRRR!!!"

(MASSIVELY EXPANDED REWRITE VERSION of UNFINISHED 2009 STORY...)

My name is Susan Donnelly, and this is the story of what happened to me on my summer vacation in 2014. The doctors couldn't explain how I could disappear for a week and come back turned into a girl but I can, even if it sounds insane. “Trauma induced hallucination” is what Dr. Morris called my story...

Like I am so traumatized! This is what I'd always wanted and I couldn't be happier. But people will only believe what they can believe, and that isn't me apparently. And while my parents totally believe me (having read my classified case file), when it comes to other people they’re sticking to the story that I’d been intersex all along. But I can’t blame them for not wanting people to think our whole family is nutso enough to buy a story like mine. Because with the pirates, mermaids, mooonmaids, genies, fairies, tentacle aliens and those sinister government Men Without Hats, it was like reality itself had gone...

OFF THE DEEP END
CHAPTER ONE: “A-A-AARRRRR!!!!!”

Laika Pupkino 2016

Well isn't that just PURRfect?!

Blog About: 

Author: 

I don't know if this woman is making fun of us with performance art, or if she
really is a cat at heart, but her trans-species situation seems like what the critics
of transgender people always warned would happen if they allowed us to exist;
and I fear this will be grabbed onto as somehow implicating us as delusional,
with that peculiar logic of transphobes...

YAHOO ARTICLE ABOUT WOMAN WHO BELIEVES
SHE IS A CAT TRAPPED IN A HUMAN BODY:
http://news.yahoo.com/this-woman-believes-that-she-is-a-cat-...

Click Like or Love to appropriately show your appreciation for this post:

The First Step

This is a semi-unauthorized sequel to Dorothy Colleen's
story CLOTHES MAKE THE ? Her story can be found HERE: http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/60003/clothes-make . It's short little gem of a story that offers a whole new perspective on this “forced-fem” business, and this story will make a bit more sense if you read hers first.

THE FIRST STEP
Laika Pupkino ~ 2016

Taking the protagonist to a Forced-Fem Anonymous meeting probably wasn't what Dorothy had in mind when she wrote the last line of her story, but this is what popped into my head. I'm hoping one day she'll write the real sequel to Clothes make the ?, if her muse is so inclined.

The Flying Babalooskis- Part 3

O.Z. and Jade wake up to find everything in their apartment wrecked, and they're not feeling too great either. When they somehow get saddled with the task of babysitting an evil child our two "retired circus aerialists" are outed as the runaway children they in fact are. So they abandon their new home and hastily depart for Florida. At the airport things rapidly begin to go south, and there's a whole lot of yelling and running around and mistaken identities and cops and FBI agents and more yelling and running around as our story rushes toward its insane conclusion.

THE FLYING BABALOOSKIS
by LAIKA PUPKINO

PART 3 ~ FLYING FINISH

The Flying Babalooskis- Part 2

O.Z. and Jade were runaways who had disguised themselves as elderly "retired circus performers" in order to avoid being busted as kids and sent home. It was a ridiculous plan but it actually seemed to be working- they'd even managed to rent an apartment. Then they met the neighbors and things turned seriously weird.

THE FLYING BABALOOSKIS
~~ A Fantasy of Revelry Run Riot ~~
by LAIKA PUPKINO
PART TWO: HAPPY MIDNIGHT

The Flying Babalooskis - Part 1

Thanx & mega-huggles to Andrea DiMaggio for finding this, my "lost" novella...

Two kids find a satchel of money and decide to run away from home, which leads to an series of adventures, each more frantic and impossible than the last. While this isn't transgender fiction, with the disguises they adopt to avoid being busted as runaways it's tran-something, a strange odyssey that takes them a long way from the lives they knew, as they somehow manage to pass themselves off as a pair of tiny elderly adults, a married couple who had once been famous all across Europe under the name...

THE FLYING BABALOOSKIS
~~ A Fantasy of Sudden Wealth ~~
by LAIKA PUPKINO

PART ONE: TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN

Transgender Cinema: The Fuller Breast Man

Erin's FULLER BREAST MAN Story Challenge

Transgender Cinema: THE FULLER BREAST MAN
Film review by Laika Pupkino

THE FULLER BREAST MAN is an odd movie for several reasons, but perhaps the oddest things about this old black + white comedy is that it was released at all, especially in 1957 when it was fairly taboo to even saying the word "breast" in films. It stars Bob Hope (and then Eve Arden) as Chester Buxley, a door to door salesman with a suitcase full of products from the Fuller Breast Corporation, which as the name implies sells a bustline enhancement product. But unlike that junk you see advertised in the back pages of magazines their stuff actually works- a formula with magical properties that makes bosom of whoever drinks it swell almost instantly.

Malala Day

Taxonomy upgrade extras: 

Author: 

"They thought the bullet would silence us, but they failed. Out of that silence came thousands of voices. The terrorists thought they would change my aim and stop my ambitions. But nothing changed in my life except this. Weakness, fear and hopelessness died. Strength, power and courage was born.” ~Malala Yousafzai

Click Like or Love to appropriately show your appreciation for this post:

The Kiss Off

----------=BigCloset Retro Classic!=----------
Complete

THE KISS OFF
by Laika Pupkino
.
Melanie Ezell's Big Closet Ultimate Writer's Challenge (Week #7: Burning Bridges)

.

"Blood is thicker than water except when it isn't."
~Chuck Palahnuik

South Pole Sodomites

Taxonomy upgrade extras: 

Author: 

Gay penguins to undergo reparative therapy (good thing they weren't at the Tehran Zoo!):
http://gma.yahoo.com/blogs/abc-blogs/gay-penguins-separated-...

Buddy and Pedro, a married pair of male African penguins at the Toronto zoo are being seperated
and paired with female penguins. Apparently this wasn't done for religious or moralistic reasons but
because the population of this species is in perilous decline. Let's hope they can rise to the occasion.

Click Like or Love to appropriately show your appreciation for this post:

Famous Shrink warns: Dont let yer kids watch Chaz Bono dance

Taxonomy upgrade extras: 

Author: 

THE TRANSGENDER MENACE:
HOW WATCHING CHAZ BONO DANCE
WILL GIVE YOUR KIDS GENDER DYSPHORIA

I wouldn't blog about just any editorial at Fox News,
I have my opinions about things and they're entitled to theirs,
but this one seems pertinent to us here at this site, and especially horrible.
It's by Dr Keith Ablow, that psychiatrist who warned us so eloquently about how that advertisement
with the woman painting her son's toenails pink would bring about the collapse of civilization.
And it makes some rather alarming claims. Completely dismissing transsexualism as a viable
choice (calling it "very nearly insane") while stating that the confusion of gender dysphoria
can be transmitted to impressionable young minds through the medium of television,
making DANCING WITH THE STARS' decision to have Chaz Bono as a contestant
a grave threat to society. Is this some f*cked up sh*t, or what?

I especially liked the crocodile tears of "compassion" (hate the sin, not the sinner, yadda yadda...)
he squeezed out toward the end of his agitprop screed...
~~hugs, Veronica

Click Like or Love to appropriately show your appreciation for this post:

Jenny Lee & the Stranger ~ Part 3

JENNY LEE & THE STRANGER
Laika Pupkino ~ 2011

PART 3 ~ THE GIRLYMAN WHO FELL TO EARTH
.

Peace Assessor Epsilon Tau stood with his back against a big rock, trembling. He needed to calm down. Taking a slow deep breath, he asked for the blessing of the Atom Heart Mother and reached out with his senses, connecting. He could feel the solidness of the house-size boulder behind him. The shape of it where it extended below the ground. The soil around it, a tumult of microscopic life and death and new birth .......... Beneath that he could feel the planet's brittle crust---mere kilometers thick---and then the horribly liquid mantle and core beneath...

This exercise would have quickly soothed his soul back at home, but here it just made him aware of how horribly alien this planet was. Green trees. A yellow sun in a blue sky…

Jenny Lee & the Stranger ~ Part 2

All at once the whole atmosphere in the restaurant changed, becoming dead silent and extremely tense. Every eye was focused on the tall figure who stood waiting to be seated. After being pointedly ignored for a full three minutes he asked, "Excuse me?"

Forced to acknowledge him, Edna fixed him with a cold level stare. "I don't think this is the restaurant for you. It might be in your best interest if you just got on down the road."

"But I have currency. Many dollars. Or if it is preferred, Element 79-”

“You see that sign there? 'THE MANAGEMENT RESERVES THE RIGHT TO REFUSE SERVICE TO ANYONE'. Now beat it!"

The stranger's expression grew more and more horrified as his highly attuned senses repeatedly bumped up against an impenetrable wall of ill will. He didn't even get as far as reading Jenny Lee’s energies before he had to turn and flee from the diner in tears...

JENNY LEE AND THE STRANGER
Laika Pupkino ~ 2011

PART 2 ~ THE REGAL DINER

.

Jenny Lee & the Stranger ~ Part 1

This is the story of Jenny Lee Martin, who had once been a boy named Tim, and how on a spring morning in 1950 she saved the Earth from destruction. It’s a story about niceness…

JENNY LEE & THE STRANGER
Laika Pupkino ~ 2011

Touched By The Prophets

Melanie Ezell's Big Closet Ultimate Writer's Challenge (Week 10: Heaven's Gift)

After decades of struggle the occupation was over. The invaders from the neighboring star system had packed up and gone home, and all of Bajor was celebrating their hard won freedom. Although to 15 year old Rothko Jor it just seemed as if one type of hegemony had been replaced with another, and that some Bajorans would never be free. But he hadn't taken into account the will of his planet's gods, or the intercession in his life of a mysterious sacred object known as the Orb of Change...

TOUCHED BY THE PROPHETS
Laika Pupkino ~ 2011

STAR TREK, DEEP SPACE 9 and PARAMOUNT STUDIOS
are all copyright 2011 by Laika Pupkino...

Alchemy and Essence

An old man on a flight from Southern to Northern California tells the stranger sitting beside him about the famous movie villain that had lived next door to him when he was a boy. An actor once well known for playing pitiless vampires and raving mad scientists, but who in real life had been gentle, caring and kind. And while his fame hasn’t endured the way Lon Chaney's or Bela Lugosi’s have, at the time even the movie critics who panned the low budget films he was in would concede that this startlingly ugly man brought a rare sensitivity to the roles he specialized in. As if he knew these monsters’ private pain.

Then the teller’s story takes a weird left turn. A theory about the actor’s supposed suicide which---as preposterous as it might all sound---would be nice to believe. Saying that rather than having drowned himself on that drizzly spring day in 1941 Max Grosz may have found his way to a second chance at life, and a different kind of movie stardom that would win the hearts of a nation...

ALCHEMY AND ESSENCE
Laika Pupkino ~ 2011

Q Day


Imagine what it would be like if
anything you wished for instantly came true.
Now just imagine that over six billion other
people were all able to do the same.
That's what happened that crazy
morning, on what they're
now calling...


Q DAY
Laika Pupkino ~ 2011

The Silence of the Night

There were worse things that could happen to you on Christmas Eve than to be sitting locked in a tiny closet. And when the sicko who had abducted him got back from his trip to the liquor store little Mikey Ellsworth was going to find out what those things were. Alone in the dark he prayed that he might be rescued somehow, calling out to God, to Jesus, his guardian angel, to anyone out there who might hear and help him. Knowing that only a miracle could save him now...
.

The Silence of the Night
by Laika Pupkino
.

A Happy Mother's Day

A HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY
by Laika Pupkino

.

The sound of whispered conversation nudged me toward consciousness. I opened one eye.

Down at the foot of my bed stood a boy and girl out of a family situation comedy from some long gone era.

I opened my other eye.

Play Nice ~ Part 11

Leaving the hospital Grandma Rosa asked, “Say, since they’re running tests on Josepho again tomorrow, I was thinking you and me and your brother could all go to the Italian Festival in Trenton...”

“That’s tomorrow? Sure! I haven’t been there in years, I’d love to go. But I don’t know if Joey will want to. He’s been acting kind of strange lately.”

“Strange?”

“Well yesterday he did the dishes, cleaned all the sinks and counters, mopped the floor-”

“SWEET JESUS, NO!” she gasped, “That is not good! Just say the word and we’ll do it.”

“Do what?”

“Switch you back, of course. If his sudden interest in scrubbing things means what we think it does it’s time to put an end to this little body-swap adventure.”

“Really?! That’s fantastic!”

But why in the next second did the prospect of going back to who I had been suddenly not seem so fantastic?

PLAY . . NICE!
LAIKA PUPKINO ~ 2009
PART ELEVEN: EXIT STRATEGIES

.

SRU: Kobayashi Maru

SRU: KOBAYASHI MARU
by LAIKA PUPKINO
.

James T. Kirk, a promising young Starfleet cadet, wanders into a shop called SPELLS R US with unexpected-

Well no, not exactly unexpected. For anyone familiar with the SRU story universe the results are just about what you'd expect.

The Hung Woman of Oz

The Hung Woman of Oz
by Laika Pupkino

The four travelling companions introduced themselves to the giantess, Dorothy and then the others all shaking her large hand. The woman smiled shyly, "I'm Joan Jones."

"That's a peculiar sort of name," said The Tin Woodsman.

Sheepishly, Joan removed the noose from around her neck and said, "To some around here I'm known as The Hung Woman."

Despite her gentle demeanor the Cowardly Lion felt intimidated by the sheer size of her. He stammered, "But whuh-why do they call you a hung woman if you h-haven't hung yourself yet?"

"And shouldn't that be 'hanged woman'?" asked the Scarecrow, scratching his head.

Big Joan sighed and lifted the front of her skirt for them.

"Arf!" said Toto.

a clockwork fruit

This is a non-transgender science fiction/horror story.
In the future it describes people like you don't exist...

a clockwork fruit
N
by laika pupkino

In the bold new world of tomorrow everybody is normal. But Timothy Roberts has a terrible secret. Despite being a product of the same genetic engineering and trait control implants as everyone else, and despite the government's insistance that things like homosexuality & gender identity conflicts no longer exist, he has known since adolescence that he's gay. He lives a life of deeply closeted desperation, haunted by the fear that he's the last homosexual on Earth. And just when he thinks his life can't get any worse...

Bobby's Girl

Since tenth grade Jane had dreamed an impossible dream. Bobby Dukakis was the hearthrob of her high school, and though she loved him madly she knew there wasn't a chance in hell that he would ever be interested in anyone as plain & uninteresting as her. But now on Halloween night of her senior year, in the light of a full moon and with the help of a strange book she'd found at a garage sale, she would recite the spell that would turn her from a dumpy little nobody into...

BOBBY'S GIRL
Laika Pupkino ~ 2009

Femdumb

My horribly modified body fit snugly into the cylindrical space of the garbage can, nestled in among the old newspapers, the eggshells & coffee grounds. Martinette loomed above me in the moonlite. With that trashcan lid and pooper scooper in her hands she appeared to me as a fierce Barbarian warrior queen brandishing her shield and battle axe. Her beauty still took my breath away...

"Goodbye Gregor. There's just no place in my life for you anymore. With all the remodelling we're doing, and how ratty you've gotten- you're embarrassing! You're headed for Garbage Island now, a fitting end for a worthless thing like you. You were a poor excuse for a man, but perhaps you'll make adequate landfill..."

She laughed evilly as she emptied the pooper-scooper out onto my head and locked the trashcan firmly into place above me, plunging me into absolute blackness...


FEMDUMB
The Ultimate One Handed Sadomasochistic Forced Femme
Sissy-Cuckold Humiliation Torture & Mutilation Funtime Story...
by Laika Pupkino

Play Nice ~ Part 10

I sat on the park bench crying my eyes out, stunned by the unreal encounter I'd had with my hospitalized father. In just one day he had gotten so much worse...

A dozen or so ducks had wandered up from the pond to come check me out. Quacking, shaking their little tails, unafraid, so darn cute. Now the ducks were making me cry.

"Sorry babies, I got nothin' for you!" I sniffed as I rummaged through my purse, hoping that somehow a bag of Duck Chow I hadn't realized I was carrying might appear in there.

Suddenly a flock of Canada geese---thinking my little friends were on to a handout---ran in and chased them all away.

"Oh," I gasped, "OH!"

And now the geese were in front of me instead, acting like I was supposed to recognize them as the more rightful recipients of whatever treats I had. I knew their type. Thugs. Schoolyard bullies. The alpha male reared his head, scornfully staring me down...

"Oh yeah?" I jeered, "I wouldn't give you nothin' even if I had it, you stupid goose. Damn right I'm talkin' to you! We're the only ones here, who else would I be talking to? Think your so bad don'tcha? Beating up on a these poor little ducks. Why don't you try picking on somebody your own size. Come on tough guy, right now! You and me!"

When from out of nowhere came a woman's voice: "Joy?"

PLAY . . NICE!
LAIKA PUPKINO ~ 2009
PART TEN: MOTHERSHIP DOWN

Play Nice ~ Part 9

My gravely ill father had put his foot down (Part 7), telling my grandma that if she and Uncle Grisha insisted on bringing his degenerate daughter along then he didn't need them visiting him either. Grandma had called his bluff, letting him sit out Wednesday (Part 8) without a single visitor, and I spent that whole day happily playing with- I mean by myself at home. Doing a couple of cleaning projects I'd been meaning to get to, then watching the Mets game (9-2, we slaughtered 'em!), and then an old Meg Ryan romantic comedy with a pretty heartwarming ending. A peaceful, productive day ....... But all good things must come to an end, and come Thursday it was time to venture back into that hospital room again.

Where to my utter astonishment Papa was pleasant to me from the moment I arrived. Talking to me and everything! Wow, Grandma's little boycott must've really done the trick! But all was not as it seemed...

PLAY . . NICE!
LAIKA PUPKINO ~ 2009
PART NINE: BAD BRAINS

Pages

Subscribe to Laika