Our Beautiful Life

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Preludio: Lo Scambio Ingiusto
(The Unfair Exchange)



Kandahar Province, Afghanistan, mid-May, 2016…

A dream is a wish your heart makes
When you're fast asleep
In dreams you will lose your heartaches
Whatever you wish for, you keep

Almost alone in the midst of friends, the girl was lost in thought over the lingering hurt that eventually drove her to re-enlist.. She breathed in deeply and decided to join in the banter with her platoon.

“Got any plans?” Of course they all had plans of a sort; futures that most of them planned that included new places and new opportunities. And maybe new dreams; or rather new ways of realizing old, almost discarded dreams?

“I am fairly confident that my future will not include anything remotely khaki or camo,” she said.

“In fact, I’m…” She had meant to say ‘pewter’ and ‘copper’, and ‘jade,’ but her thoughts as well as the thoughts of everyone else were interrupted suddenly and severely...



A moderately extended and nebulous time later…

The next thing she remembered was a kind looking middle age man pinning a brooch of some sort to her shirt.

She drifted a bit even as she overheard voices. Not eaves dropping in the purest sense since she was right there, and they were talking about her, after all.

“Thank you,” the man said before turning to an even kinder-looking woman.

“Jeez, Vic? I should be thanking you, but really?” Lisa looked up, almost seeing through the ceiling to the sky above and beyond.

“You notice? Uh…he’s been calling out a name. Danny. ‘She’s….’ He hasn’t gotten past that. A girl friend? Who dates girl with the same name as themselves?” Vic shook his head; mostly in confusion, but mixed with disappointment in himself; as if in not knowing he was somehow letting the kid down.

“Uhhhhhh,” the kid groaned, but he quickly lapsed into something of a mix between a relieved sob and an oddly contented coo. Meds? Divine intervention?

“I think it’s something else.” Lisa said as she touched the doctor’s arm; perhaps a bit more familiar than she had intended.

“First? Don’t take this the wrong way. Our Lance Corporal here may just be the bravest person I’ve ever met.” Lisa glanced over at the now-sleeping figure.

“Five marines are alive because he shielded them from a grenade blast. And at what a cost? Fuck,” she said; once again looking at the sleeping figure. A lost leg and the sight of one eye. But even in the midst of that hugely horrible disfigurement, a sylph-like image seemed to have overlaid onto the boy.

“One of his friends…they were almost apologetic, but they described him as….” She sighed at the thought; both worried and protective, but also glad somehow.

“Yeah…I noticed that. Apart from the bruising and swelling, he’s only going to have a thin scar once the other docs do their work. It’d be rough for anybody, but he’s…of fuck, Leese. Am I crazy? The kid is…” His voice trailed off as he stared at the boy in the bed.

“Pretty?” Lisa Chen nodded slowly and smiled.

“I think he’s in for more than just facial surgery, Vic.”

“No….I think she’s in for more than just facial surgery.” He smiled and Lisa nodded; bestowing upon the young corporal the first of any affirmation she would receive…



“Lex?” Lisa waved to the nurse attending to another patient. She and Vic walked over and Vic gestured to Lance Corporal Ragazzo’s sleeping form…Ragazzo? As painfully ironic a name as ever was.

“It’s okay…really. But some folks are starting to talk,” Dr. Alvarez seemed to speak authoritatively even as he sighed.

“I know, but I really don’t give… Okay…we’ve gotten close. And no, I can’t explain it. It just happened.”

“It goes beyond that, Lexi. He’s…he’s…” Lisa stammered.

“She’s... After all the hell this kid has been through?” Vic went to speak, but Lexi AND Lisa both put their hands up in caution.

“And no,” Lexi smiled.

“I love puppies and kittens, but I don’t recue strays or orphans. As fucked up as this might feel to anyone else? I love him….her.”

“He’s…don’t … she’s damaged. There’s so much going on in her recovery.”

“But don’t you see? Sure it’s important for me…but she deserves something, doesn’t she?” Lexi didn’t mean for her gesture to be so pronounced, but she still hit her thigh hard, as if to somehow reduce ..her Lance Corporal’s pain.

“A fucking karmic tradeoff, guys.”

“It’s a trade no one I know would welcome, even if they wouldn’t refuse it, either. But it just doesn’t seem fair,” Vic said. Lexi sighed.

“No it doesn’t, but as my Nonna would say, “Lexi? Non c'è giusto o ingiusto. La vita è proprio quello che è..." The man stared at her, evoking an answer to his unasked question.

“There is no fair or unfair. Life just is what it is..."



Capitolo Primo -La Silfide e la Sua Sposa
(The Sylph and His Bride)


-

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Jersey City, NJ, July 4th, 2018...

The evening was lapsing into twilight, and outside the locals were already celebrating with their own fireworks. The big display on the Hudson wasn't due for at least a while, leaving the strains of Saint-Saëns to waft unmuted throughout the apartment.

“Sole’? Can you please come here?” Lexi paused the music and waited for a reply.

“Why do you keep calling me that?”

“Because that is what you are to me, my...dolce sposa.”

“You’re only half Italian.”Danni’ responded.

"Yes, your mom’s family was from Padua but your dad is mostly Scottish via Canada.”

“Yes, my dear sweet girl, but I never learned Scots Gaelic or even French or Cree”. Lexi suppressed a laugh and returned her attention to her vanity mirror.

"But I am what my Nonna would call terazzo...earthy.”

“You certainly are.”

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”And you are Silfide...”

“What does that even mean?”

“Come and look in the mirror. What do you see?” Lexi laughed softly even as her Sole’s face grew crimson.

“I....”

“You won’t admit it, but you’re....graceful... a sylph."

“I am nuh...not,” she stammered in argument.

“You wouldn’t listen to me, and you just had to let me let you try to prove yourself, right?” Lexi laughed again, finishing off with a cute giggle.

“And I win the bet, babe!” She pointed to Danni’, who looked way younger than 23 years of age,

“Graceful like a swan. You’d put Audrey Hepburn and Grace Kelly to shame.”

“Audrey who?"

“Think Kate Moss," Alex said.

“Kate who?”

“Never mind. Face it…sugar and spice and everything…nice and…hidden.”

“What? No…I don’t want to do this anymore…”

“Your mouth is saying no but your nipples are saying ‘si, mia cara signore!’”

“I don’t want to do this anymore!” She burst into tears as Lexi began to swipe Danni’s nipples softly with her fingernails.

“No… please,” she’ protested.

You know it’s not by accident that Romeo called Juliet the sun…Sole’… My sun.”

“No,” Danni’ sobbed in a near panic. Lexi grabbed her hands.”

“Here…try this with the gloves on,” Lexi said, placing one of Danni’s’ hands on her own right breast and the other one on Lexi’s left breast. Soon the two were murmuring; satin on flesh evoking sobs and laughter and groans that filled the bedroom.

“You light up my world, mia dolce sposa,” Lexi repeated. Danni tried to get up, but strong hands thwarted the effort.

“Now below?” She paused long enough to pull black gloves up her own arms before placing her left hand between her Sole’s legs.

“Nughhh...no?!” she gasped and tried to push Lexi away; insistent at first but with resolve quick fading as Lexi continued to urge.

“Nothing that frightens or hurts you, babe,” she said as she grabbed Sole’s arms and marched them both to the bed.

“I want you inside of me,” Lexi said.

I’m....I’m not...I can't,” she sobbed in tearful protest.

“It’s not just to arouse. I feel complete when you take me...” Lexi met Danni sobs with cries of her own. The two merged; tentatively at first, but happily desperate to keep the connection.

“What…why…” Sole’ continued.

“Shhh," Lexi said, putting her index finger to Sole’s lips.

“I want you...no... I need you to take me,” she said; odd enough for her weak but graceful mate to accomplish, but Lexi wasn’t seeking success. Rather she was trying once again to help la sua sposa...her spouse know how much love there was to be enjoyed and savored and treasured just because…

“Don’t worry…” Lexi said.

“I suppose I should just stop crying…I’m such a fucking baby!” Danni said.

No…never stop crying…and don’t ever stop!” Lexi reversed positions and lowered herself below to take Sole’ in her mouth. It would have almost seemed surreal and silly at the same time as Lexi uttered almost imperceptible coos. Soon, she had reversed her position and they both sighed from contentment and relief as success and accomplishment were shoved rudely aside; replaced by the sheer enjoyment of joining as one.

“Ngghhhhh…” Danni…Sole’ and Lexi said almost as a single entity. In a few minutes Lexi had rolled onto her back and Danni wept in her arms.

Outside the bedroom window the invasive crashes and booms from the holiday fireworks had finally begun, sending Danni into near hysteria as she buried her face in one of the pillows to stifle her screams. As ironic a moment as any; the holiday proclaiming freedom even as Sole’ continued her journey into liberty.

“Shhhh’…” Lexi said softly; her words soothing and renewing rather than silencing her mate.

La silfide accudita dal marito… Alexandra Cameron, RN, 37, the caring husband to her sylph-like wife., most recently discharged Lance Corporal Danny Ragazzo, USMC. Lexi rocked Danny in her arms; she glanced at him and pursed her lips as tears streamed down her cheeks while she surveyed his body

Much like the true husband that nurtures his wife like a shepherd or a gardener, Lexi was born to be the one to see Danny become whole. Almost but not quite an impossible task. Nothing would replace the left leg that was lost half-way around the world. Nor restore the vision that departed from the cloudy right eye. And sadly perhaps never to sire?

But Lexi was beyond joyful. Getting to know the little girl who never got to live for the first twenty-three years of her life would finally thrive and grow; completeness arriving via another path entirely.

“I love you so much, babe!. So, so much.” Lexi smiled. Danny…Sole’ Ragazzo looked up into his…her husband’s eyes and for the first time in so very long smiled as well.

Laureate.jpg



Uno - La Notte Piena di Bellezza
(One -The Night Full of Beauty)

On a rainy even in the Heights of Jersey City in mid September, 2018...

Lexi had put on a cute romantic track, filling the apartment with the quiet music from a Disney Romance album. The music mixed nicely with the patter of raindrops against the glass door to the balcony. Danny tilted his head as the picture of two cartoon dogs sharing a strand of spaghetti came to mind.

He sighed. Lexi in no way could be seen as a tramp; cartoon or otherwise. But Danny shook his head at the thought of becoming a Lady in a week; a bride in fact, at least in demeanor, leaving him daunted. He found himself mouthing the words to the tune....

This is the night
It's a beautiful night
And they call it Bella Notte

“Sweetie?” Lexi called from the bathroom. Danny looked up from the worn paperback copy of Red Storm Rising and spoke.

“No!” He shook his head, expecting and quickly hearing her reply.

“Fuck, babe. You promised.” Lexi was almost never one to argue for her own sake, but their needs were frequently a reflection of her lover’s almost painfully necessary, dread-filled transformation. To make her point, she grabbed the garment bag from the closet and practically skipped down the hallway.

“She loves herself…she loves herself not.”

Danny cringed at the annoyingly wry twist of the old verse.

“That’s not fair,” he protested. He went to throw the paperback across the room, but thought better of it and just let it fall from his hand onto the floor. Lexi shrugged, and laid the garment bag on the back of the couch before walking into the kitchen.

“Sorry,” she said with almost no conviction. It was almost like searching for a psychic equivalent of Children's Grape Dimetapp, since the deal they had struck was like the more palpable medicine Danny needed in order to see whom he…she was becoming.

“I’m not ready,” he said with another head shake.

“Well, fuck that! We’ve been doing this too-worried-what-others-might-think transition Paso Doble since we decided to be us. I can handle the twists and turns, so long as I know that it’s Alexandra and Solé.”

“Stop using that name. I’m not bright at all.”

“Okay? Lexi and Danni with an i? Danny continued to shake his head.

“Who do you fear the most? Your dead dad who pushed you into the Marines?” Lexi’s voice tailed off only slightly. It was never really about why Danny had enlisted so much as to the manner and timing.

“I…” How a moderately decorated very brave marine could be ashamed made little sense; at least in regard to his sacrifice. An act of valor that saved five others at the expense of his own safety would have been carried out even if Daniel had been able to be Daniella. It just was who he was… who she was, regardless of how she presented at the time.

“The Colonel would be proud of his daughter, babe!” Lexi walked behind Danny and began rubbing his shoulders.

“I’m a fake,” he cried as he set his head down on the table. No crying today, he had vowed, only to succumb to the inevitable and entirely justifiable shedding of tears.

“I… If I hadn’t…” Beyond the never, ever expressed disappointment Danny read into his life, there was so much nuanced insecurity in every aspect of his existence. He looked down at his groin and frowned.

“I know, but then again I don’t. If you had transitioned soon after we first met, who’s to say we would have had kids anyway. Or that we would have decided?”

“You said…”

“Danny? I said it would be nice…. But I never said I had to be a Mom.”

“But,” Danny lifted his head up and bit his lip.

“I have only ever needed one thing in my life, babe. YOU!”

“I know, but…”

“But nothing. I told you that you can tell me anything you want, but only I get to decide what I need; how I feel and think is only open so much to suggestion.”

“Yes…I guess so.” He redoubled his efforts to see nothing but shame as he bit the inside of his mouth.

“Eeeegggttttt! Wrong answer, sweetie. And yes, I know you only meant that you had no right to suggest. Here’s the thing. In all the time I’ve known you, but especially after you came home, your very being has cried out to be a woman. Not a part-time, fit in with everybody else’s expectations femme pod person.”

“Mommy said…” Danny went to put his head down again, but she grabbed his chin.

“She said, and I quote, ‘Why do you need to do this?’ Even she recognized it wasn’t something to fill a curiosity. She said she just didn’t understand, but I’d bet the fucking farm that she would have made things fit if…” The accident that claimed Danny’s parents short-circuited the beginnings of understanding.

“I…Mommy…I know…Mommy loved me….Daddy loved me…” Danny’s head shake was slight, and only as a mild self-rebuke.

“When they were…when they died…. Too many things went left unsaid, but if you reach deep down inside yourself, you’d realize that as much as you’ve been to me, you were Solé to them both as well. And maybe…just maybe they would have been thrilled to welcome home a baby daughter birthed years after they made you?”

”I….I really don’t know what I would do without you, Lex…”

“Well, we can talk about that…later.” She grabbed Danny and lifted him to his feet and pulled him eagerly into her arms. He smiled in embarrassment as he surveyed her nakedness before cringing in shame. She adored him, but he winced at his own reflection in the mirror at the front of the hall. A superb surgeon managed to do a more than decent job of restoring a somewhat pretty face; albeit with a slightly opalesque sightless right eye.

“C’mon,” Lexi said playfully. Danny stared at his prosthetic left leg and frowned.

“Hey… none of that…” She hadn’t meant to be abrupt, but fortunately Danny didn’t take it that way.

“We have the new one due next Thursday, and you’ll do just fine. Hey…We’re escorting each other down the aisle so it’s all good?” Danny wanted to be excited; what bride isn’t? But he was tired for so many reasons. Lexi had the cure.

“You know the most amazing thing…okay the second most amazing moment of my life after seeing you return home?”

“Uh… Lexi? No…”

“You… you get the most intense orgasms just giving me pleasure. I mean, you…” Lexi began to cry. It was maybe an odd way of reflecting on the wonder of their relationship, but it was as if Danny….Lexi’s Sole’….thrived on pleasing her. The tears were part and parcel of the celebration that was them.

“Jeez, Babe? You practically wet yourself just kissing me,” she sighed as both of their eyes brimmed with tears.

“I know it feels stupid to cry,” she said even as her grin broadened.

“And when you start crying too? Holy fuck, babe!” She continued to usher Danny toward the bedroom.

“This is to get me to put on the dress, isn’t it?” Danny eyed the garment bag as they walked past the couch.”

“Well, actually not just yet. I was hoping to try on my new corset. And maybe give you an orgasm all your own.” She opened the bedroom door.

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In a few minutes Danny sat anxiously on the edge of the bed. He wore a beige nightgown over matching panties, which contrasted nicely with Lexi's black corset and hose. She pushed him over and climbed on top.

“I want to hear you moan, Babe. I want to hear every single mumble and moan, okay? Loud!” Danny tried to shift his weight, but she had him pinned just by leaning closer. He nodded.

“Oh…and the more tears you shed, the longer this is gonna last, so I strongly suggest you drink something so you don’t dehydrate.” She laughed before cradling his head and having him drink a small bottle of water.

“Have I told you how much I love you?” They practically said at the same time. Lexi smiled before she pulled off just a little, saying at last,

“Ooooo. Let me show you!”

Side by side
With your loved one
You'll find enchantment here
The night will weave its magic spell
When the one you love is near

Oh, this is the night
And the heavens are right
On this lovely Belle Notte



Due - La Mattina della Persuasione
(Two -The Morning of Persuasion)



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xful3mvickc


At their apartment, very, very early Thursday morning before the big day…

Just a little change
Small, to say the least
Both a little scared
Neither one prepared
Beauty and the Beast

Lexi had just walked in after two grueling shifts at the hospital.

“”Babe? Any Chicken Sate left over?” she asked as she laid her jacket on the back of the couch.

“Plenty,” she heard echoing from the bathroom. She peeled off her Sketchers and padded into the kitchen.

“I’m so fucking excited, Babe!” she called out. No response.

“I said I’m so fucking excited! You know? Saturday? Down the aisle? Cake?”

She made a point to laugh a bit louder than usual, but still no response. She reached into the fridge and pulled out the flat container of food and poured it onto a plastic plate before shoving it into the microwave. She hit reheat and waited a few seconds before retrieving the food. Grabbing a fork, she walked down the hall, plate in hand.

“Are you okay in there?” she knocked lightly on the closed door to no response. She went to open it, but found it locked.

“Uh-uh… it’s bad luck for the bride to see the other bride before the wedding!” A quip that went nowhere until she heard the lock undone.

“I…” A bewildered, sad looking face peeked past the slightly open door; freshly scrubbed of makeup under a decidedly different hair ‘do.’

“Oh fuck…” Lexi’s face grew almost white with shock. She dropped the plate and it spilled its contents all over her left foot.

“Ow,” she cried out; the food hadn’t gotten terribly hot, but the shock evoked a grimace nonetheless. A hand timidly pulled the door further open to reveal Danny standing nervously in Danni’s place, complete with male mufti and a all-too-haphazard attempt at slicking back his already short hair into a ‘guy’ cut.

“Noooooo!” Lexi cried out before walking quickly to the bedroom. She closed her door with a demonstratively forceful slam, but did not lock it behind her.

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!” She wasn’t one for crying needlessly; this discovery hurt her to her core. But like most nurses…well, maybe a lot of nurses…. She wasn’t crying for herself. A few minutes passed before she heard a soft knock at the door and an even softer, “Lexi?”

“Go away….just for a while Babe?” Danny shook his head. And almost as if Lexi could hear the gesture, she said,

“Not angry….go make some coffee…please? I’ll be out in a while.” At quarter to two in the morning, it was absolutely an emotional need that drove her request.

“Oh…okay,” Danny said and he walked into the kitchen. He looked around the cabinet over the sink and found the ceramic crock for coffee, but found it practically empty. Reaching further in, he found a fairly new jar of instant coffee. He filled the electric kettle with water and pressed the ‘on’ button.

“Maybe she’ll still be hungry?” He said to himself. He put the tray of the remaining food into the microwave and hit reheat. With both appliances on the same circuit, the breaker tripped, plunging the kitchen and hallway into darkness.

“Oh fuck,” he said as he walked down the darkened hallway to the breaker panel, only to slip on Lexi’s dropped plate; sending him sprawling. She heard the loud crash and opened the bedroom door; illuminating the hallway with the light from their bedside lamp.

“Honey?” was all he could manage as he laid prostrate on the hallway floor.

“Babe?” Lexi said as she stooped down; offering a hand up. With her help and his struggles, he sat up, only to look down at his prosthesis, now covered with Chicken Sate. It was too much. Between the accident and his overwhelming sense of defeat invading once again into his sense of self, he began sobbing; all the while repeating ‘I’m sorry.’

“No, Babe….shhh….shhh.” Lexi said as she kissed him on the forehead. She would have added, “You’re still my girl.” But it was not the time for even the gentlest of disagreements.

“It’s okay. Babe,” she said as she sat against the wall next to him and pulled her mate into a consoling hug.

“Shhh….shhhh.”

Tale as old as time
Tune as old as song
Bittersweet and strange
Finding you can change
Learning you were wrong



Later that morning…

Lexi lay beside him, front to back. Between the odd cat-nap during breaks during her Double on Wednesday and their sleep after the early morning disaster. Lexi was well-enough rested and hugely prepared for the task she had assigned to herself.

“C’mon, Babe… rise and shine,” she said even as she pulled his leg off the bed and sat him up.

“Go take a nice bath, k?” She had removed his prosthesis before they went to bed, and was already helping him into the bathroom; his arm on her shoulder.

“Bubbles and everything,” she said as she helped him into the tub. Other than a nice soak and clean up, there was pretty much nothing left to prepare; hormones and his little bit of shaving pre-meltdown the day before left him smooth as any girl/boi in any story you might read.

“Here’s some nice Tangerine Seltzer and your Seroquel, Babe. Just relax and we can talk in a bit or not. Enjoy the suds and I’ll be in and out. Okay?”

He went to protest, but Lexi got the ball rolling by loofering his back.

“I never understood why they say clean as a whistle, but whatever.” She kissed him on the top of the head and walked out. He thought he heard yet another Disney tune, but she closed the door behind her, leaving him to the echo of small splashes and such.



Twenty-three Minutes later…

Danny shrugged his shoulders. With the door closed and the steam, it still felt warm despite being sufficiently soaked. Somehow, though, he felt a bit off; likely owing to the extra quarter tab of Seroquel. Lexi never violated protocol, but at any rate she had permission to up his dose if he was having flashback or panic episode. A morning glass of wine might have sufficed instead, but he was still worked up over the early-morning struggle.

Outside the bathroom, Lexi was debating about her next actions. “For your own good” was never acceptable as a justification for intervention; hence only a quarter tab bump-up. She wanted him to be cooperative on his own terms, and her plans would make immediate deference to his wishes; even if she screamed inside herself that her intentions were for his own good.

“Knock, knock.” She said as she cracked open the door.

“I’ve got a nice warm set of towels for you. Grab the robe off the door when you’re ready and join me in the bedroom.” Odd that she would say that, since he did not have his prosthesis. She laid the towels on the sink before kissing his forehead.

“Love you! Call me when you’re ready.” she said as she closed the door behind her.



A short while later...

He stepped out of the tub and grabbed the long bath towel from the pile and dried himself off; sidling over and sitting on the toilet since his prosthesis was in the bedroom.

“Uh…Mauve? This is new.” he said out loud, looking at the towel.” He finished drying and tried to reach the robe hanging on the door, but it was just far enough away, and he did not trust getting up without help.

“Lex...honey? I can’t reach the robe.”

“S’okay…On my way.” A second later he looked up to see the door open. But instead of the PJs she had worn to bed, she stood in the doorway wearing a black silk teddy.

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A whole new world
A new fantastic point of view
No one to tell us no
Or where to go
Or say we're only dreaming

“Your wish, cara mia, is my command. But first?” Lexi reached to the side and produced a slim cardboard box about a meter long.

“I love everything about you, so please understand I do now what you do want.” She reached into the box and produced something she desperately prayed he would welcome. At first she wasn’t sure as tears streamed down his cheeks, but he half smiled.

“She thanks you, Babe...for your service.” Lexi did not feel the need to add the word sacrifice...at least not at that moment. Their friend Heather had made it her own life's sacrifice helping others conquer the lack she shared with folks like Danny Ragazzo.

Lexi laid the gift in his lap; a top-of-the-line prosthesis complete with shiny dark pink toenails. And a note from the young woman who had endured a similar loss from the horrific terror at the Boston Marathon only a few years ago.


"Dear Dani, Thank you, Love Heather"

“Heather’s cousin is just like you, Babe, and she wanted you to know that you’re not alone. His…her name is Anna…” Lexi stifled a gasp; hoping against hope that she had not overstepped... Her only sign was that while Danny continued to cry, a smile began to grow on his face. In a few minutes, he had donned the new prosthesis.

“Here,” Lexi said, retrieving the garment from the back of the bathroom door. But instead of a terry robe, it was a gauzy off-white night dress. In a moment, she had not only pulled it over his head into place but had produced a similarly made veil. Not quite a wedding outfit, but it would still serve the purpose Lexi had intended.

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A whole new world
A dazzling place I never knew
But when I'm way up here
It's crystal clear
That now I'm in a whole new world with you
Now I'm in a whole new world with you

“Uh...” he went to protest, but the necessary dose of medicine had an extra effect as he found himself docile to her insistence.

“Just one thing, Babe?” Lexi said as they approached the bedroom doorway. He tilted his head almost hazily in question.

“Do…do you trust me?” she asked, quoting the line from the movie. Like the two lovers, Lexi and Danni with an i, they were entering into a whole new world.

He went to speak, but Lexi did not wait for an answer; ushering her intended quickly through the doorway. However, instead of a mere clack of the door shutting behind them, he heard the distinct ‘click’ of the deadbolt being closed and locked.

“Here, Babe,” she said as she eased him onto his back on the bed. A moment or two later, Danny was comfy and cozy and, as he would remark somewhat later, never again Danny but rather Danni Ragazzo. Lexi secured her carefully to the bed with four very pretty silk scarves. Danni had no intention to protest, nor could she as Lexi wrapped a longer scarf around her face over the veil.

"Do you trust me?" she repeated, earning a slow, cautious nod from her once and future bride. In a few moments, however, Danni did utter a very long and sustained

‘”ughhhuuhhummmmmmmmm.”



Friday morning, 10 am; T-Minus 25 hours and counting…

Danni had pretty decent success in apprehending every bit of encouragement Lexi bestowed on her. Apart from an understandable blip over the unfamiliarity of the blessing from Lexi’s friend, Danni was settling into just the slightest bit of nerves both brides felt before tomorrow’s big day. That is until the doorbell rang.

“You expecting any deliveries,” Danni called from the kitchen. Lexi had expected company; only giving Danni a hint by saying some friends were dropping by for a quick Bona Fortuna wish.

“Can you get that?” Lexi called from the bedroom. Noting prevented her from joining Danni, but she felt, albeit incorrectly, that Danni could handle the surprise. She would, not too long after that, but she had to endure the shock in order to receive the blessing.

“Okay.” Danni called out and went quickly to greet the visitors. She opened the door to discover two familiar faces; totally unexpected and almost daunting in their presence.

“Daniel?” The man said slowly, but quickly corrected himself.

“You must be Danielle, yes?” The man held out his hand in greeting, but waited until Danni shook hands; tentative and slow.

“I’m sorry it took this long, Marine,” he said. The woman beside him smiled and spoke.

“Hey kiddo. So great to see you.” She paused long enough to rub her arm before smiling at Lexi, who sidled up against Danni. The man duplicated the woman’s smile and spoke; once again waiting until Lexi offered her hand in greeting.

“Doctor Vic fucking Alvarez. The guy who saved my Danni’s life.” She smiled, greeting him playfully as if they never me. She stood a bit on tip-tow and kissed him full on the lips, evoking a gring and a blush. She turned her attention to the woman; no stranger at all to Lexi, either

“I was so worried that you’d miss tomorrow, but I should have known you’d be here.” She stepped closer and hugged LTCMDR (ret.) Lisa Chen; nurse extraordinaire, so to speak.

“Uh…” Danni cringed only a bit; rapidly moving into her shame default. Lisa would have none of that, but still sought permission to move past cordial into familiarity. Danni nodded slowly as Lisa touched her arm.

“It’s not easy, kiddo. I know. But tomorrow is a day you both deserve.” Vic Alvarez was in civilian Mufti, but his stare remained that of an authority/big brother to Danni Ragazzo. He stepped closer but eschewed a group hug in favor of grabbing Danni’s hand and forearm.

“We’re here because a little Italian birdie said you needed company. I heard about how things ‘changed’ when you got state-side, but you were already a wee bit self-revealing in your anesthesia-induced murmurs. I gotta say somehow it wasn’t a stretch to get that you weren’t the person on your ID, so to speak.”

“And Lexi here called me not to long ago. When she found out that Vic here was coming state-side, she asked me and then him to be here. Okay?” Danni nodded slowly; still a bit confused.

“Lisa is standing up for me tomorrow and the good Doctor will be your …man of honor.”

“As much as I am thrilled to be here for our dear friend, I’m not planning on wearing a bridesmaid’s dress.” His eyes almost twinkled as he grinned broadly.

“I on the other hand, am totally into off-the-shoulder and heels.” Lisa poked Lexi in the arm.

“But in the interest of modesty on behalf of Vic here, I alone will be helping the two of you get ready – separate rooms of course.

“I…” Danni stammered. The wonder and newness of it all were almost but not quite enough to push Danni into an emotional corner. She looked at Lexi, who simply wiped away a few of her own tears before saying at last,

“I love you so much.”



Tre - Il Giorno del Compimento
(The Day of Fulfillment)



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yinLNiDCGQw&list=PL0A94E343A...


There's a calm surrender
To the rush of day
When the heat of a rolling wind
Can be turned away
An enchanted moment
And it sees me through
It's enough for this restless warrior
Just to be with you

Saturday morning..... 6:27 am...

A reasonable amount of wine helped allay much of both brides’ pre-wedding jitters. Lisa and Vic weren’t due until about nine, despite the late-morning wedding.

“I can’t wait until I get you tonight.” Lexi kidded. There was not great plan for a wedding trip other than a few days driving around in a rental with a nice visit to an exquisite Winery in rural west New Jersey.

“You already have me.” Danni shrugged her shoulders; nearly free of all the occasional voices that threw doubt her way.

“Yes, dearest, but I want more of you,” she giggled. Even then, with all the affirmation Lexi had bestowed on her, Danni still was overwhelmed by the astonishing amount of grace she had received. Her face got hot and red, prompting a more direct approach from Lexi.

“You do not have to do a single thing other than be yourself.” Danni winced at the words until Lexi drew her in for a kiss.

“I’m going to say this as many tomes as needs be, Sole’! I am about as blessed as any human can possibly be since you came into my life.”

“I…I wish I could…” Danni turned away.

“I’m sorry for saying I want more, honey. It’s just that I can’t get enough of you, okay?”

Lexi redoubled her efforts and kissed even harder, if that was possible. With their friends not due for a couple of hours, and Lexi took that into consideration as she ushered Danni back to bed.

“This is really what it’s all about,” she said as she slipped off her robe, revealing her altogether self, as her Nona would say.

“You bring me great joy. Babe. Nothing else for a while except maybe the best pre-nuptial cuddle we both need?” She pulled Danni’s robe off and let it drop to the floor, revealing all.

“Cuddle. And anything else you need. But hear me like you’ve never heard me, Danielle Ragazzo-Cameron. I’m being about as selfish as I can be. And you, dear heart, please me in every way possible. It’s not just that I’m your girl, but that you’re mine! Okay? You are exactly the woman I’ve always wished for.” It might have seemed clichéd, but sometimes synapses do suddenly click, and Danni knew that she knew that she knew that she was not just love-able, but that she was entirely blessed with the ability to love right back.

“Can I kiss you?” she asked; almost silly but for the part about Lexi’s eyes filling with tears. Her need to feel loved. She nodded and Danni kissed her; perhaps as passionately as the two had managed together. The sylph’s presence grew, perhaps, as Sole’ shined bright on them both.

“Mmmmmmmmm,” Lexi sighed even as Danni drew her onto their bed and into herself; all the while echoing Lexi with an [‘mmmmmmmmm’ of her own….



9:11 am….

Vic arrived with a bag of bagels and creamcheese and a cardboard carafe of coffee. His duties for the day pretty much would not begin until he stood beside Danni for the service.

But that one duty was likely immeasurable in its impact. With Danni’s parents in Paradise, so to speak, Vic was not just standing up for Danni but serving as a father and even a mother figure of sorts for both brides.

“You two ready to get ready,” Lisa asked. The accoutrements would likely be remembered as the means of reminding both Danni and Lexi how beautiful they were to each other and to themselves.

“I brought a CD to set the mood, kids,” Lisa said as she handed it to Vic.

“Pick any track, Doctor!” The irony wasn’t lost on either bride as a very familiar song began to play; albeit instrumental alone.

“Vic? Could you queue that up again?” she asked as she turned her smile back and forth between both brides. She tapped the comb in her hand against her temple in thought. And as the music started, she began to sing.

A dream is a wish your heart makes
When you're fast asleep
In dreams you will lose your heartaches
Whatever you wish for, you keep

And not too long afterthat...

The+sound+of+lilies+COVER_0.jpgdownload_37_0.jpg


Liberty State Park, Jersey City, New Jersey, 11:33 am…

The day proved to be as sweetly breezy as could be, with a handful of folks from Lexi’s hospital chums and some friends from Danni’s support group. One person made it all the way from Dubuque, Iowa. First Sergeant Anita Rodriguez and her partner Nan; both blessed by Danni’s act of bravery. Pictures of both sets of parents graced the first of five rows of chairs.

“Vows?” the woman smiled as she held the right hand of each of the brides.

“I love you…and I know you love me,” Danni said as she struggle to hold back tears for just a moment.

“Th..thank you,” she said as she squeezed Lexi’s free hand.

“I promise to be the best person I can be for me so I can be the best wife for you…okay?” she said it like a kid asking if she got it right. Lexi nodded and spoke.

“Me. Too, Sole’! Me too!” As a breeze wafted through the garden, a large contingent of butterflies made thie presence known by surrounding the happy couple. New Life? Well…

“You may kiss your bride," the celebrant remarked to the approval of all.



The Neighbor House Bed and Breakfast, Long Valley, New Jersey, that evening…

Lexi had just turned on the Clock/CD player on the nightstand next to the bed, gracing their room with a familiar and completely appropriate tune.

“I love you,” Lexi said as she graced Danni with a refill of the nice bottle of Sparkling Grape Juice; an entirely odd choice for their wedding night.

“I have a confession to make,” Danni said with a wry smile.

“What, pray tell?”

“I have never, ever loved anyone… as deeply as I love you.” She wiped away some stray if entirely happy tears. Lexi resisted the small urge to say something glib and just smiled through her own tears, but touched Danni’s left arm.

“Uh deeply…yes… very deeply, I should say.” She did fail miserably in her attempt not to giggle.

“About that… You know how you told me you come from a long line of swimmers?” The comment might have at one time evoked a wince from Danni, but she had been doing so well with pool physical therapy that her therapist encouraged her to enter some para-athletic events, including swimming.

“I’m not following you, Lex.” Danni titled her head in puzzlement until Lexi grabbed her by the hand and placed it on her tummy.

“Let’s just say that swimming still runs in the family, babe.” Lexi held up the bottle of Grape Juice as if to clarify her remark, but Danni shook her head.

“I can’t have any wine…at least not for a while.” Lexi continued to confound her new bride until she climbed into bed and pulled the covers completely over the two of them.

“It’s okay, babe…you’ve got about nine months to catch on. Now come here and fuck me, okay?” Lexi began to laugh. Had it been a real blanket fort at that point the girls wouldn’t need a flashlight as the bulb went on over Danni’s head.

“Swimmers?”

“Uh huh…” She pulled Danni tight to her and whispered in Danni’s ear,”

“See…I knew you could love me. And I….Love…you…”

As they nestled in for what would prove to be a very intriguing wedding night, the CD switched to a very familiar tune.

And can you feel the love tonight
How it's laid to rest?
It's enough to make kings and vagabonds
Believe the very best
It's enough to make kings and vagabonds
Believe the very best


La fine dell'inizio
(The End of the Beginning)



Paintings by Jeremy Mann

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes
from the Motion Picture Cinderella
weitten by Mack David, Al Hoffman and Jerry Livingston

Le Cygne (The Swan) from
Le Carnaval des animaux(The Carnival of the Animals )
by Camille Saint-Saëns

Bella Notte
from the Animated Motion Picture
Lady and the Tramp
Words and Music by
Sonny Burke and
Miss Peggy Lee

Beauty and the Beast
from the Motion Picture
of the same name.
Words and Music by
Howard Ashman and
Alan Menkin

A Whole New World
from the Motion Picture
Aladdin
Words and Music by
Howard Ashman and
Alan Menkin

Can You Feel the Love Tonight?
from the Motion Picture The Lion King
Wotds and Music by
Tim Rice and Elton John

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"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin

This Is Vintage Andrea

joannebarbarella's picture

Start with several boxes of Kleenex. Her depiction of a badly wounded and deeply conflicted veteran with a gender problem seems to be right on the money. Luckily for her she has a woman who loves her and looks past the scars, both physical and mental.
Still, it's a painful journey to an eventually happy marriage.

One chuckle....."Audrey who?" Sic transit gloria!

excellent, as always

just amazing writing. thank you so much for sharing your talent with us.

DogSig.png

Beautiful

A story old as time.

Jill

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Ummm...

I am envious. The art work, the chosen lyrics, everything makes any Drea tale special. She can do all that without interferring with my reaching for tissues!!! Brava my dear...!!!