for touch the light

A gypsy of a strange and distant time
Travelling in panic all direction blind
Aching for the warmth of a burning sun
Freezing in the emptiness of where he'd come from
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Left without a hope of coming home

“I don’t care, Jon. You lied to me. You fucking lied to me!” Shannon yelled from the bedroom. A moment later she stood in the hallway. A hastily packed suitcase sat on the floor beside her. She pushed past Jon and walked into the kitchen.

“But I didn’t lie.” He said. Not telling the truth isn’t always lying, isn’t it? Shannon grabbed a beer out of the fridge and popped the tab. She downed it quickly and turned to face him. While the glare on her face was entirely angry, the tears were hard to read. Jon threw up his hands in frustration.

“You knew, Jon, and you didn’t tell me,” she said, answering Jon’s un-asked question. She pointed to the suitcase.

“I married a man, Jon, not a goddamned girl. You fucking lied to me!” She shook her head, staring at her husband of six years, wondering how it all came to him facing her wearing leggings and her hip-length pullover. The black flats weren’t familiar at all, since she didn’t own any. She eyed him up and down; sizing him up with angry scrutiny. He almost looked pretty, which made her feel both threatened and petty at the same time.

“Leave me alone…I can’t deal with this right now,” she practically screamed as she pointed to the suitcase in the hall.

“Where will I go,” he said in a panic; his eyes darting between her stare and the door.

“Go to a motel. Go to your brother’s, but I don’t think he’ll be happy with you either! I don’t care. Just get out of here.”

“How long?” His eyes had teared up and he was looking down at the floor. Shannon was sorely tempted to say ‘for good,’ but she was confused and scared; almost as much as Jon. She sat down on the captain’s chair in the hallway and shook her head.

“I don’t know, Jon. I’m so hurt, and I just don’t know…” She put her head down and began to cry. He took a step closer to console her. As he leaned in to hug her, she pulled away, nearly tipping the chair on the floor.

“NO! Leave me alone!” She put her hand up and covered her eyes as she sobbed.

“Just go!” She managed to gasp before her words melted into murmurs as she turned her face away from him. He stepped past her and grabbed the suitcase. Walking to the doorway, he paused and choked back a sob.

“Shannon?” He said it softly as a plea he knew would receive no good answer, but he continued.

“I…I love you.”

A harsh dismissal would almost have been easier to take in a way. The quiet didn’t say no, but neither did her silence offer any hope. It felt like things would never be good again, much less the way they used to be. He stood at the door for nearly four minutes; a brief time when waiting for a train or preparing a meal, but an eternity when asking for forgiveness. She looked up; her eyes were red and her cheeks were hot pink and stained with tears. She shook her head before lowering her face once again, speaking no words.

The click of the lock was followed by the creak of the door. A moment later the door closed leaving Shannon alone. She gasped and looked at the doorway; almost expecting Jon to return with one more plea. His betrayal was too much for her to bear, and she dissolved into more crying even as she sobbed,

“I love you, Jon.”

Speeding through a shadow of a million years
Darkness is the only sound to reach his ears
Frightening him with the visions of eternity
Screaming for a future that can never be
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Left without a hope of coming home

words and music by
Justin Hayward
as performed by
The Moody Blues

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