It's Transformative!!!

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It's Transformative!!!
Streaming Audio from the LargeWardrobe Elite Network Chatroom

(Jennifer Brock sitting at desk)

Jennifer Brock:
Good evening and welcome to another edition of 'It's Transformative!!!" And we kick off this evening with TG Literature.

Drea:
Good evening. One of the finest writers on this site, or indeed of any other site, is Dame Kristine Roland. She's back in her beloved New Jersey for the first time in several weeks after her whirl wind tour of Europe to open a reading of her works at Paramus Mall Barnes and Noble, and we are very fortunate to have her with us in this chatroom this evening.

Kristy:
Good evening.

Drea:
Kristine... you don't mind if I call you Kristine?

Kristy:
No, not at all.

Drea:
Only it does bother some girls - I don't know why...but they are a little sensitive so I take the precaution of asking.

Kristy:
No, no, no that's okay.

Drea:
So Kristine's all right. Terrific, Terrific. I'm sorry to have brought it up, only eh...

Kristy:
No, no, please. Kristine it is.

Drea:
Well thank you very much for being so thoughtful...only it's more than my job's worth to...er...

Kristy:
Absolutely, yes.

Drea:
Makes it rather hard to establish a rapport ... to put the other woman at her ease...

Kristy:
Absolutely!

Drea:
Yes, silly little point but it does seem to matter. Still - less said the better. Uh...Kris...when you first started in...you don't mind if I call you Kris?

Kristy:
No, no, no everyone calls me Kris.

Drea:
Well it is shorter, isn't it?

Kristy:
Yes it is.

Drea:
Yes, and much less formal!

Kristy:
Yes, Kris, Kristine, anything!

Drea:
Wonderful...wonderful. By the way, do call me Drea, I don't want you playing around with any of this 'Andrea nonsense!' Ha ha ha ha! Now where were we? Ah yes. Kristy-baby, when you first started in the...

Kristy:
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but I don't like being called 'Kristy-baby'.

Drea:
I'm sorry?

Kristy:
I don't like being called 'Kristy-baby'.

Drea:
Did I call you 'Kristy-baby'?

Breanna:
Yes, you did! You brat, you!.

Drea:
I don't think I called her Kristy-baby.

Laika:
You called her Kristy-baby.

Drea:
(looking off-screen) Did I call her Kristy-baby?

Beth and Pippa:
Hmmm? Yes!

Drea:
I didn't really call you Kristy-baby, did I, sweetie?

Kristy:
Don't call me sweetie!!

Melanie and Muti:
Awwww!

Drea:
Can I call you sugar plum?

Kristy:
No!

Drea:
Pussy cat?

Kristy:
No.

Drea:
Kristy-Poo?

Kristy:
No!

Drea:
Jersey Girl?

Kristy:
No.

Drea:
Jerrrrzeee Gurrrulll?"

Kristy:
Of course not!

Drea:
Cutie Pie?

Kristy:
No you may not! Now get on with it!

Drea:
Can I call you 'Kiki'?

Kristy:
Kiki? Why Kiki?

Bobbie:
It's a nice name. Laika has a kitty named Kiki!

Kitty:
Awwwww!.

Kristy:
No. What's going on?

Amber and Yuki:
Kiki...Witttew Kiki...Awwww!

Kristy:
(Getting up) No. I'm leaving. I'm leaving. I'm outta here!

Drea:
Tell us about your latest story, Ms. Roland.

Kristy:
What?

Drea:
Tell us about your latest story, if you'd be so very kind, Dame Kristine?

Kristy:
None of this 'pussy cat' nonsense?

Drea:
Promise. (Pats seat) Please, Dame Kristine

Kristy:
My latest story?

Drea:
Yes, Dame Kristine.

Kristy:
Well the idea, funnily enough, came from an idea I had when I first joined the website way back in 2005 . Of course, in those days I was just a blogger...I remember....

Cut to Jennifer Brock, as before...

Jennifer Brock:
Dame Kristine Roland. Later in the program we will we will be bringing you a unique event in the world of modern art. Pippa Kingsley will be doing a special painting for us, on this program, live, on the subway. But right now it's time to look at a woman whose meteoric rise to fame...

"It's Transformative" was funded in part by the National Endowment for the Stuff that Pretends to Art but Really Isn't, but Hell, It's not our Dime, Anyway! Produced by Joanne Barbarella and directed by Dame Susan Heywood. Executive Producer, Erin "Seven Sites" Halfelven.

The Comedic Stylings of Roland and DiMaggio is now on Lavender Ray and DVD. Call now. 1-888-555-Funy. Kristine Roland and Drea DiMaggio appear courtesy of Jersey T-Girl Productions, Inc.

(Based on "It's the Arts" by Monty Python's Flying Circus)



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