Erin's Internet Cafe!

Printer-friendly version

Author: 

Audience Rating: 

Publication: 

Genre: 

Character Age: 

Other Keywords: 

Permission: 

Erin's Internet Cafe
Featuring the Comic Stylings of that Zany Duo,
Kristine Roland and Drea DiMaggio

Scene: A cafe. One table is occupied by a group of Chatroom Girls. Kristine and Drea enter.

Kristine:

You sit here, Drea.

Drea:

All right.

Kristine:

(to Waitress) Morning!

Waitress (JenniBrock):

Morning!

Kristine:

Well, what've you got?

Waitress:

Well, there's Stark and Bike; Somewhere Else, Ride On Spam and Gaby; Jason’s Story and Colleen and Spam; Robin, Girl’s Don’t Cry and Sarah Carrera and Spam; Spam, Aaron Joel Smith, Boston Bubble, Simon(e), and Venus Cursed and Spam; Venus Touch, Don’t Blame Me and Spam, Changing for Gym, Green Fog, Angry Mermaid, The Center, I am the Night, and Switcheroo and Spam; Spam Rusted Blade Spam Spam Jenny Lee and Spam; Spam Galactic Marshall, Trailer Park Baby Spam Spam What Light, Fortuitous Adventure, Allergies Suck, Spam, Max and Alex, For My Princess and Spam.

Chatroom Girls:

(starting to chant) Spam Spam Spam Spam...

Waitress:

...Spam Spam Spam Echoes, 300 Rains and Spam; Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Drea’s Cryfest Chapter 27 spam spam spam...

Chatroom Girls:

(singing) Spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam!

Waitress:

...or Getting Sorted, Danny, Aunt Adele’s Easter Pageant, The Eyes Have It, Spectre, At Last a Life, You Meant It for Evil, Diamond in the Rough and Spam.

Drea:

Have you got anything without Spam?

Waitress:

Well, there's Spam Getting Sorted and Spam, that's not got much Spam in it.

Drea:

I don't want ANY Spam!

Kristine:

Why can't she have Images, Rock Star Makeover, Spam and The Nun?

Drea:

THAT'S got Spam in it!

Kristine:

Hasn't got as much Spam in it as Spam Book of Magik, Omega Unicorn and Spam, has it?

Chatroom Girls:

Spam Spam Spam Spam (crescendo through next few lines)

Drea:

Could you do An Historic Annulment, Angel Marques, Spam and Red Shoes without the Spam then?

Waitress:

Urgghh!

Drea:

What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like Spam!

Chatroom Girls:

Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!

Waitress:

Shut up!

Chatroom Girls:

Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!

Waitress:

Shut up! (Chatroom Girls stop) Bloody Hell! You can't have Prom Statement, What a Day! Agent of Order, Spam,and Emma’s Story without the Spam.

Drea:

(shrieks) I don't like Spam!

Kristine:

Sshh, Drea, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your Spam. I love it. I'm having Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Assassin, Angels High, Changing for Gym, Psylocke, Funny Business Spam Spam Spam and Spam!

Chatroom Girls:

(singing) Spam Spam Spam Spam. Lovely Spam! Wonderful Spam!

Waitress:

Shut up!! Drea’s Cryfest is off.

Kristine:

Well could I have her Spam instead?

Waitress:

You mean Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam... (but it is too late and the Chatroom Girls drown her words)

Chatroom Girls:

(singing elaborately) Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam. Lovely Spam! Wonderful Spaaam! Lovely Spam! Wonderful spam. Spa-a-a-a-a-a-a-am! Spa-a-a-a-a-a-a-am! Spa-a-a-a-a-a-a-am! Spa-a-a-a-a-a-a-am! Lovely Spam! (Lovely Spam!) Lovely Spam! (Lovely Spam!) Lovely Spaaam! Spam, Spam, Spam, Spaaaaam!



If you liked this post, you can leave a comment and/or a kudos!
Click the Thumbs Up! button below to leave the author a kudos:
up
58 users have voted.

And please, remember to comment, too! Thanks. 
This story is 495 words long.