Down to Earth In a Lifetime by Andrea Lena DiMaggio   And as the rain it falls Begin again Heavy in my heart As the storm breaks through Believe the light in you So the light shines in you Without color, faded and worn Torn asunder in the storm

This story is a continuation of A Question of Balance. Thus far: Three women, centuries old and practitioners of Draihoidel, the old arts, had come along side a girl in desperate need of understanding and encouragement. Each had taken the form of mortals to influence three souls close to the girl. The fourth member of the group, the girl’s brother had been a practitioner of the old arts for only a few days. The women have returned to help the family once again, along with others that need the healing that only love can provide...

“But now that you’ve met me? Well, I’ll be askin’ you to take me home so as I don’t embarrass you any more, Mister Paul Giambrone!”

“Take all the time you like; just wave when you’re ready to order, okay?” Paul nodded and Marcie, or rather Fiona turned around and walked back to the kitchen, breathing out a relieved sigh.

The Olympus Diner a little while later…

Unless the sound
Save your body's soul
Unless it disappears

(First the thunder) Selfish storm
(Then the storm) Hold on the inside
(Torn asunder) One life
In the storm

“Are you okay? I’m sorry for being so forward…I’ve never done anything like that before.”

“Well, it’s not like I make a habit of bein’ kissed by men in eatin’ establishments myself, Mr. Giambrone,” Breena said curtly, but her growing smile indicated something other than impatience.

“I’ve only been kissed just the once just now, Mr. Giambrone. Ever.” She put her head down as her face began to grow red with embarrassment. He grabbed her hand gently and held it.

“Well, if it’s any consolation to you, Ms. McCarthy, you’re the only pretty woman besides Katy that I ever kissed…there was one other, but I won’t count my Mom if you won’t.” He laughed softly but he had no company in his laughter. Instead he leaned down and looked under Breena’s hands, which had hidden her face. She was crying again.

“Will you be takin’ me home now, Mr. Giambrone?” She looked out the window, almost as if she was seeking some deliverance.

“No…Ms. McCarthy, I will not be taking you home now….not for a while. I haven’t had the company of a lovely woman in a long time, and I’m really reluctant for this time to end.” If he had expected more laughter to accompany his soft laugh, he was mistaken once again as the woman put her head against the window and began to cry harder; her expression that of shame and guilt.

“You really are quite pretty.” He smiled and grabbed her hand, rubbing the back of it gently.

“I wish you saw yourself the way others see you?” He said it almost as a pleading question.

“Your children are just the greatest kids and they love you enough to support you in this even though it’s awkward for you. They didn’t let you off the hook today, and I’m really glad for that, apart from your tears.” He reached in and gently wiped a drop from her chin.

“I don’t know what it is, and I’m really not worried about it at this juncture, but I really want to get to know you more…if that’s okay?”

“You needn’t be sorry on my account; I don’t go holdin’ with no charity. You’ve had your fun and you’ve done your bit for the cause. Oh I know… Mikey told me that your Ms. Lambert is a good friend of yours. If you show yourself to be a man of character…well and good, aye?”

“Ms. McCarthy…Breena…I asked Mike to help arrange this for my sake alone. Nobody but you and he and Patty know that we’re on a date as far as I know.”

“So you didn’t want to be seen with me, is that it?” She shook her head. He knew she was fragile, but this was getting difficult.

“No…not at all. I wanted to respect your privacy in case you found out you didn’t like me. Not everyone is compatible.” He shook his head and sighed.

“Oh well I know that, indeed, Mr. Giambrone. Not every man is suited to date a boy in a dress…aye…I understand completely.” It was getting to be too much, and the urgency wasn’t in how uncomfortable he was but in how hurt she was. He was tempted to kiss her again, but that got him only so far anyway. He shook his head again, took a deep breath and said,

“Breena McCarthy…I don’t know what’s bothering you. I’ve tried to show you…I’ve tried to tell you. I can’t say it any planer. I’ve fallen in love with you….Head over heels in love. You are possibly the most wonderful woman I’ve ever met…” He paused, waiting for the inevitable argument.

“But.”

“NO…there’s no but…no conditions or qualifiers or requirements. I don’t know where this is going to lead, but I want to see you… again and again, and not for anything other than completely selfish reasons. I love you!”
He said it all so fast that Breena literally was stunned. She would have done well to listen to his whole speech, but she did hear the last three words; the three most important words that she had heard in her life. She looked at him and her lip started to quiver. It had been almost comical at first, but now, in light of her past and his confession, it became the most precious moment she had ever experienced.

She tilted her head as if to question if he was sure. He nodded his head in reply and smiled that warm gentle smile that was so disarming. She began to cry again, softly and in response to the lips that began to kiss her hands; the first time she had ever felt anyone wasn’t ashamed of her. She felt cared for and valued and cherished and loved all in one instant.

Marcie/Fiona stepped up to the booth and placed their meals on the table; in to-go containers along with two Styrofoam cups of coffee.

“Take all the time you want, hon…the meals’ on the nice couple over there,” she said, pointing in the direction of a booth just a little ways away where an elderly couple sat. The woman smiled and wiped her eyes while the man held his hands together over his head like he was congratulating Paul.

And Fiona stood back and smiled as she watched Paul and Breena, speaking softly,

“Grace to you, dear ones.”

At Phyllis’ home…that evening as well...

“I haven’t opened up since she died. I felt all along that it was my fault...I know you know…” Phyllis took a sip of coffee and found it had grown cold while she and Dave had talked.

“I can make a fresh pot,” she said as she stood up from the table.
“That’s okay…I…I probably should be going.” He turned and looked at the front door.

“Mr. Ackerman…Dave…I’m glad you came. You’ve been…” She wanted to say help, but that was just too impersonal.

“I’m glad I came, too. I haven’t talked about my brother since he….not with my family…no one, until now. You understand how I feel…we both feel.” He put his head down and tears came to his eyes. The unfamiliarity of talking with anyone was made more difficult by the fact that he had begun to see Phyllis in a different light. He felt ashamed that his feelings had nearly distracted him from listening to her. But listen he did; and the more he listened the more he became distracted.

“I should have stood up to my Dad….I hated myself….I still hate myself for that…she’d be alive today if I…” Her words were interrupted by the hand that softly grabbed her wrist as she sat down once again.

“No…please…if you’re guilty then I’m guilty and I can’t bear it. It hurts too much to think that we could have changed things…that we didn’t act.”

“It does….too much.” She put her head down on the table and wept. Never before; even when she was little, had she cried like she was crying at that moment. Decades of guilt and shame threatened to close in around her like hands around her neck. Her shoulders shook from the sobs as she recalled too many chances to change. Not just for her twin’s sake, but for the sake of others. The fear and shame that had ruled decision after decision until she found herself friendless and alone.

“It’s okay….Ms. Jenkins?” She lifted her head slightly and looked into his eyes; something so unexpected from someone so rough and rugged. Tears streamed down his cheeks, and somehow she knew they weren’t for his own sorrows but for hers’ instead.

“Phyllis…you couldn’t have changed a thing. When my brother died…I spent so much time beating myself up…only when we talked the other day…I realized I wasn’t alone. And it wasn’t just you I thought of.” He sighed and looked out the kitchen window as if to see beyond.

“I…I know what you’re saying…It hurt me so much to think that I’ve brought so much hurt on someone….just like Eddie…I’ve been treating Don…I’ve been treating Diane just like my Dad treated Eddie…I am so sorry.” She began to sob again, hopeless and alone once again until she felt a rough hand gingerly touch her face.

“No…you…and me…we can’t do this anymore. The whole time I was thinking about Jimmy after we talked, I tried to figure out what …how I should behave… how I should think. Almost like Jimmy was whispering in my ear. He was playful that way…I knew he was different. Mom and Dad, too, but we didn’t listen. And then it was too late, you know.” At the word, ‘late,’ Phyllis gasped, but Dave continued to stroke her cheek. He wasn’t being forward or romantic at all, but like the brother Phyllis really never had, and almost as gentle as the sister she did, Dave showed her that she wasn’t alone…and would never be alone again if she chose not to.

“If Eddie and Jimmy were here, what would they say?” I kept asking myself that. Wondering what he…she, I guess, would be like? How would your sister look at you? And I figured out that the things that made them so special to us were how sweet and kind both of them were. So I figured that maybe I’m supposed to be kind, you know?”

“Dave…it’s my birthday tomorrow…her birthday…I miss her so much…”

“Phyllis…celebrate her…remember her tomorrow…what would she have you do?”

“She was such a sweet girl….” No ghost from any past or present or future could have affected her the way Dave Ackerman’s gentle touch and forgiving words ever could.

“I can’t be afraid of life so much as to try to protect everyone. I was….wrong….I am so sorry.” She grabbed his hand and pulled it away from her face.

“I don’t deserve any mercy….you ….don’t…please.”
“That’s the past talking…let it go.” He touched her face once again. As she put her hand up to pull his off her face he gently grabbed it.

“I don’t deserve your care…I don’t deserve mercy.” She sobbed.

“No one deserves mercy…that’s what makes it so special…”

He smiled at her as she gazed into his eyes, finally accepting the gift that she had been given long ago. The package that lay unopened in her heart was torn apart and the wonderful blessing within bestowed to a desperate, sad, and lonely woman. As she looked into his face she felt a warmth that had never been; an acceptance that she had never experienced. He pulled her closer and kissed her gently on the lips; romantic in a small way, but a part of the greater blessing of mercy and love that transcends. And for the first time in lifetime, Phyllis Jenkins knew what love was all about.

Believe the light in you
So the light shines in you
Without color, faded and worn
Torn asunder in the storm

(First the thunder) Selfish storm
(Then the storm) Hold on the inside
(Torn asunder) One life
In the storm

Next: Reckoning!

In A Lifetime
Words and Music by
Pá³l Brennan and Ciará¡n Brennan
as performed by Clannad and Bono
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_klil_eOEY